It's been over two years since we got away from him- he emotiinally abuwsed me and physicallu abused the children while i was at work. The first year was blissful, I felt so free. Nine months ago I filed for divorce and he then summoned me to court for contact with the children. He will soon be starting unsupervised contact- advised by social workers- I am heartbroken that I am not allowed to protect my kids but just pray he will not hurt them again. I can only hope. Today I'm also feeling really lonely- would a single mother of two in her early forties be attractive to a good man? Where would I even look? I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, I deserve SOMEONE to love me.
Yes, you DO deserve someone who loves you!!! And for now, maybe focus on finding that love within yourself. Be kind to your own soul...it takes a lot to endure abuse and witness the father of your children abuse your babies...you are one strong woman for getting out of that!!!
Do you receive any form of counseling and do you take your children to a DV specialist for therapy? Maybe that would help right now to not feel so alone with it all. It is VERY normal to go through this empty feeling and the sadness....a traumatic experience like that causes depression and all sorts of PTSD symptoms. You should not have to deal with all of this alone and I hope the courts know about him abusing your kids physically- and that the kids feel safe to tell you if he does lay a hand on them....
stay strong...work with what the law can do for you and reach out to DV hotlines and support groups in your area. My father abused my brother heavily physically for years and he stopped once my mother divorced. But the emotional abuse continues until today. I therefore chose not to have him in my life.
Hi - I don't have any solutions but I understand the loneliness you feel. Janine has wise words and you do deserve someone who loves you - counselling is really helpful and realise how hard it is when you have children. Keep posting and we can support you as much as we can. You are strong and all you are feeling is normal afer an abusive relationship.