I tried the impossible.

We call people who support your Ex or remain neutral when being confronted with the reality of the abuser's behavior "allies" of the abuser.
Those are usually people (but not always) in his family, his friends, his coworkers, drinking buddies at the pub etc. who never saw, or refuse to see the abuse for what it is. They may also be abusive themselves and do not think his behavior is really bad- many allies go as far as saying: "Oh SHE must have done something bad to make him do this." or in my case a couple my Ex and I both knew told me to "Just get over it, he just loved you so much he did not know what to do. After all you are not perfect either."

And as a victim this is heartbreaking. I actually called the father of my Ex during one big argument we had, and the father was useless as can be. I may as well have tried asking for help from a tree, and a tree would have been more helpful than the father.

The hardest thing as a victim of abuse is that you feel isolated. You start wondering that "If they do not see it and help me, it MUST be my fault, it MUST be me." And that adds more and more toxic shame to your traumatic experiences. No wonder it is hard to leave!!! You constantly wonder what is reality, what is right and what is your own perception.

If a partner asks you to convert to his faith- which in my opinion is a kind of spiritual insult as one does not 'just stumble over another totally different religion and join the club for fun over the weekend....' and if you are being punished for your beliefs, then that is also emotional and spiritual abuse.

Bottom line is, you do not deserve to be treated this way. He will never stop.
Reach out to a DV hotline, to a counselor, to people who understand DV and are on your side, YOUR allies. You deserve all the help that feels comfortable for you right now.

You were not born to 'persuade/prove' to other people how worthy, how good enough, how lovable you are.
You already ARE all these things and the right people will mirror those feelings right back at you.

Sometimes when we feel we mess up everything and before we wonder if we suffer from depression or are crazy, it helps to see first if we are not indeed surrounded by (I would love to insert a swear word starting with "A" here ) It is not you. It is not your fault. He is an abuser, and his family sounds like a terrible possible future in-law clan.

You do not have to do anything for that. You are enough, and your life has a purpose.