I just watched this documentary about domestic violence on youtube. It's called Private Violence and it follows the case of a woman in america who was kidnapped and beaten for 4 days. It's pretty triggering, at least for me. I found myself remembering how people minimised what happened to me or just didn't believe me. My abusers (I had 2 abusive relationships) also denied and played down what they did. There is very little support in the real world it seems. Even Victim Support wouldn't visit me as they said "battered women just go back to their abuser" and "we get so many of these reports they just pile up in a cupboard". My friend had his wing mirror stolen and got a leaflet from victim support through the post within a few days but I got nothing despite my boyfriend trying to kill me. My whole face is aching from clenching my teeth all the way through the documentary. Anyway here's the link
I haven't been on this forum much since it changed and the new forum seems much less active than the old one, which is a shame.
Thanks for the link! I am going to watch it. I support One Love Foundation Joinonelove.org..it is a foundation that goes to high schools and teaches boys and girls about dating violence and what a healthy relationship looks like. They are doing really good work and hopefully making a difference. Every time I talk to a girl or guy who starts to share about their relationship issues, I share what I know. I have found a few people I work with who are in abusive relationships. They are young women, completely in love and baffled how he can call them a whore for talking to their friends who happen to be guys.
Sometimes, maybe just helping one person at a time is a good place to start. I too and sad this forum is not as active as it once was. Maybe things are changing a bit in society? I am hopeful.
I think about the school thing, too. Why is DV and SA not taught in school? Remember how much useless stuff was taught? Who remembers the general's name in such-and-such battle in such-and-such year? Whose life is better for having learned that fact? Almost nobody. And I think almost half of all women are victimized in DV/SA ways. And for those who aren't victimized, then comes sexual harassment at work. Pretty much every woman on the planet is going to be negatively affected by men's violence, abuse, harassment, stalking, etc.
I don't really know any women who haven't been victimized in some way or another. Maybe not every woman on the planet has been beaten, but there's verbal abuse that's rampant. There's the mind games. There's all sorts of gaslighting. Everyday sexism. It's little wonder why women are diagnosed with so much anxiety. It's a world full of violent, abusive, misogynists and yet in the schools, nothing is said.
Schools teach kids to 'say no to drugs' and yet there is nothing said to girls about what boys will likely do to them and how they might protect each other and perhaps themselves, how to support one another, how to spot abusers, why so many victims don't realize or know they are being abused.
How many women live lives of despair and pain due to DV and SA? How many women are trapped in abusive 'marriages'? How many women are suicidal because of what men (and their supporters, including their women friends, women coworkers, women relatives) do to them? How many moms of sons would rather hate fellow women than acknowledge their sons are predators, wifebeaters, rapists, and misogynists?
This stuff has to be trained into girls in schools. But I don't see anyone allowing it. Men rule the world. To do such would make it harder for them to obtain and maintain control.
I almost thought about distributing flyers. Make it a world drive for all women to hear the call to get out and meet other women in their neighborhoods, inquire about DV, SA, and other forms of abuse of women. Maybe if every woman printed 100 flyers and shoved them into 100 mailboxes in her neighborhood, it would reach those who are still in it, who have been brainwashed to think it's their fault, that they're crazy, that they cause and deserve the abuse and violence.
I mean, even with the internet, if you don't know you're being abused, you don't access the right information as you don't seek it. Maybe the flyer could be a checklist of red flags, the DV wheel (Duluth model), and some recommended books, like Don Hennessey and Lundy Bancroft and the local DV shelter's number, and encouragement to call them for support, help, or advice.
This forum and website is wonderful. Did you set it up, Janine? Is it your website? Brava!
Plus, with internet porn, this next generation is an especially predatory pack of boys. I fear for girls of this internet generation (and every generation after that, if the planet lasts that long). The schools need to teach and model and role play and train girls into what a healthy relationship looks like. Otherwise, these girls are even more the prey. I see teen mags/women's mags (thinking Cosmopolitan, which is read by teenage girls) including things like 'how to do anal' and it's an increasingly pornified generation and world. And with everyone carrying cell phones, this world is more voyeuristic and predatory than ever. How many gang rapes are recorded with cell phones and widely shared as to brag and showcase their wretchedness? And then comes the surveillance. Has anyone followed the South Korean radical feminists and how they are protesting spy cams and also rejecting the corset (beauty culture/objectification shackles)? Women in South Korea have formed teams of volunteers to go in and search for hidden cameras in public bathrooms because the spy cams are practically everywhere.
I think we should be training up as many women as possible to become radical feminists. Anything less won't work. And even then, there will always be evil and the days are going to get worse (which is biblical), but hopefully we can support as many girls and women as we come into contact with.
I've been horribly betrayed and victimized by other women but I still think we should help other women. Some women are abusers and predators of other women, to be sure, but I think we women have to try and stand together as much as possible, otherwise we remain divided and conquered. Men stand together. We women need to do so, too. But for the women who betray, abuse, and prey on other women, it's so evil, so damaging, so wrong, and so harmful. Destroys a person.