Post by gizmo13 on Jun 20, 2017 21:38:21 GMT
I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years. Im 35 she is 30 now. To everyone else, and even to us we seem, on the surface, to be made for eachother. When we are good we are great, fantastic even, but thats all anyone ever see's. There is a darkside.
Even in the very beginning, there were warning signs. Things would flare up into arguements. Things would get out of control, fast. Voices would get raised, almost always hers, and one thing ive learned after a streed of awful relationships is to stay as calm as you can with a woman. Its not safe to lose your temper. How i learned that is another story, from an ex who doesnt even deserve the time here. My go to response is when things get crazy, leave and go away till tempers subside.
2 months deep i tried this tack with her and got a smack in the mouth and next thing I know we are on the ground on the inside of the door, her pulling my hair and scratching, Im ashamed to admit it but i jabbed her in the side to get her to stop. Then she started saying "YOU HIT ME< YOU HIT ME".... you can imagine. I found a piece of my tooth on the floor that day. she never even had a bruise. Still, I ended up crying my eyes out on the kitchen floor. I had an abusive father and vowed I would never hit a woman. Even though I was attacked and only did the bare minimum to defend myself I felt I had deeply comprimised everything I wanted to be as a person. ill never forget how low I felt that day. I couldnt help notice this was not of any great concern to her. Now after what has happened since I wish I had seen this red flag and walked, ran even, away.
There has been emotional and psycological abuse from her and her family over the years, too much to list or go into here. As well as some minor physical abuse where she will swing for me or throw something. I just leave and go to my mums.
Recently she left me, and cut all contact. After a month of not seeing her, feeling like she had died or something i sent an email and we met up. Wer have seen eachother sice but stayed living apart.
The other night I planned a night out for us and we drank a lot of wine. When we got home I went to make something to eat and she dissapeared upstairs in my house. I went up and woke her to give her some food. I started tidying because there was mess everywhere. When I looked around I noticed she had gone back to sleep. The sheets were all over the place and I tried to shift them underneath her. She woke up and started going crazy. She got up and grabbed me hard by the arm, pulled me around and started swinging punches at me. i deflected a few then pushed her off. Next thing I know she swung a large cup and It smashed allover the side of my head. Blood was gushing everywhere. I kept saying "what have you done?", "what have you done?". All she could say was, "well I have scratches too" This was not a scratch, It is a 3-4 inch across V shaped gouge out of my scalp. I said " I think I am going to need you to leave" she refused. I got her to leave anyway. I was eerily calm and just worried because i couldnt see how bad it was.
Things are a bit of a blur but i remember phoning her after she was gone to ask her to come back and take a look at it. She is a newly qualified nurse. When she came back she just curled up on the couch and went to sleep. Leaving me to panic. I took some photos at the time. I wasnt sure if i should charge her or phone the police, not knowing how bad it was for a start. A few inches in another direction, what she did could have been fatal or permanently disfigured me. I was scared to go to the hospital and make it "REAL" About half an hr later I went upstairs and I must have passed out. I woke up on the floor with blood seeping into the carpet. Luckily its red. I went down and woke her. She got up. Was sort of normal. I got her to check my head for bits of shrapnel. Also dig bits of cup from my feet, I had been walking all over the shattered cup in a panic earlier on.
Since then, we have had sex, Ive made plans with her, I have lied and kept this from everyone. She has promised not to drink wine. Now she is away back to her parents and I have had a few days to think, I am starting to doubt what im doing here. Was I right to protect her? Was I a fool for not calling the police? I just dont know. I havnt told my mum or any frinds about this because that would be detrimental if I decided to stay with her. My head is a mess and still thumping. So here I am reaching out to you guys because I have nowhere else to speak out. I cant believe this has happened!
Even in the very beginning, there were warning signs. Things would flare up into arguements. Things would get out of control, fast. Voices would get raised, almost always hers, and one thing ive learned after a streed of awful relationships is to stay as calm as you can with a woman. Its not safe to lose your temper. How i learned that is another story, from an ex who doesnt even deserve the time here. My go to response is when things get crazy, leave and go away till tempers subside.
2 months deep i tried this tack with her and got a smack in the mouth and next thing I know we are on the ground on the inside of the door, her pulling my hair and scratching, Im ashamed to admit it but i jabbed her in the side to get her to stop. Then she started saying "YOU HIT ME< YOU HIT ME".... you can imagine. I found a piece of my tooth on the floor that day. she never even had a bruise. Still, I ended up crying my eyes out on the kitchen floor. I had an abusive father and vowed I would never hit a woman. Even though I was attacked and only did the bare minimum to defend myself I felt I had deeply comprimised everything I wanted to be as a person. ill never forget how low I felt that day. I couldnt help notice this was not of any great concern to her. Now after what has happened since I wish I had seen this red flag and walked, ran even, away.
There has been emotional and psycological abuse from her and her family over the years, too much to list or go into here. As well as some minor physical abuse where she will swing for me or throw something. I just leave and go to my mums.
Recently she left me, and cut all contact. After a month of not seeing her, feeling like she had died or something i sent an email and we met up. Wer have seen eachother sice but stayed living apart.
The other night I planned a night out for us and we drank a lot of wine. When we got home I went to make something to eat and she dissapeared upstairs in my house. I went up and woke her to give her some food. I started tidying because there was mess everywhere. When I looked around I noticed she had gone back to sleep. The sheets were all over the place and I tried to shift them underneath her. She woke up and started going crazy. She got up and grabbed me hard by the arm, pulled me around and started swinging punches at me. i deflected a few then pushed her off. Next thing I know she swung a large cup and It smashed allover the side of my head. Blood was gushing everywhere. I kept saying "what have you done?", "what have you done?". All she could say was, "well I have scratches too" This was not a scratch, It is a 3-4 inch across V shaped gouge out of my scalp. I said " I think I am going to need you to leave" she refused. I got her to leave anyway. I was eerily calm and just worried because i couldnt see how bad it was.
Things are a bit of a blur but i remember phoning her after she was gone to ask her to come back and take a look at it. She is a newly qualified nurse. When she came back she just curled up on the couch and went to sleep. Leaving me to panic. I took some photos at the time. I wasnt sure if i should charge her or phone the police, not knowing how bad it was for a start. A few inches in another direction, what she did could have been fatal or permanently disfigured me. I was scared to go to the hospital and make it "REAL" About half an hr later I went upstairs and I must have passed out. I woke up on the floor with blood seeping into the carpet. Luckily its red. I went down and woke her. She got up. Was sort of normal. I got her to check my head for bits of shrapnel. Also dig bits of cup from my feet, I had been walking all over the shattered cup in a panic earlier on.
Since then, we have had sex, Ive made plans with her, I have lied and kept this from everyone. She has promised not to drink wine. Now she is away back to her parents and I have had a few days to think, I am starting to doubt what im doing here. Was I right to protect her? Was I a fool for not calling the police? I just dont know. I havnt told my mum or any frinds about this because that would be detrimental if I decided to stay with her. My head is a mess and still thumping. So here I am reaching out to you guys because I have nowhere else to speak out. I cant believe this has happened!
