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Post by mary on Mar 2, 2017 13:28:57 GMT
In my heart I know he wont change, I used to be a member but cant find my log in ect....but he as been everywhere for help, and the only person not willing to help himself is himself. Yeah he talks the spiel of how he will change etc ...but I don't think so.
The problem now is me, I do not want to be alone I cant afford to be alone, and despite his behaviour finically I'm better off with him, for heating clothes food outings ect, also he does help with cooking ect.
My DD has had enough and cant cope any more and is wanting to make me promise that I will leave. My health isn't great and I would be in a worst state if I did leave Right now I can fund my hobbies ect so do get out, but if I was on my own then I couldn't afford hobbies
Any advise greatly recieved
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janine
Member
Admin
Posts: 1,185
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Post by janine on Mar 2, 2017 16:28:06 GMT
Hi Mary,
It sounds like your greatest obstacle comes in the form of financial freedom right now, and you do not want to leave him right now because it would put you in a difficult financial situation.
This is the perfect time to call a DV hotline and/or shelter. There are many financial assistance programs out there, because one of the main tactics abusers use is to financially abuse their victims, so that they depend on them 100%. If I think I cannot survive without my abuser, and I need his money, I stay. But that is a false belief, because there is always a way out, even if it does not feel like it.
Yes, it may be difficult to have less money short-term, and that is not an easy decision to make. But at the end of the day money comes and goes, and there are ways to get the financial support from other resources.
You got this. Reach out, inform yourself what kind of resources are available, and you will slowly but surely see that there is a way out.
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