In itself it raises quite a profound questions. Sometimes it feels to me that the only solution to living in an abusive relationship is to end the relationship and get out, and while we do everything we can here to help people realise that the situation they are in in not tenable, maybe there are situations out there where for whatever reason, he relationship -abusive though it my be - is the best situation for that person at that moment in time? What is our advice and what help can we offer to those who DO stay?
I'm returning ( it seems) once again after an abusive episode which I ended up with me staying at my friends .. I know it's dis empowering but I'm exhausted and I know that I can't keep staying at friends/hotels. I am planing to leave..and have setup some meetings with a housing support worker and a referal to a women's Support group. But as nothing happens over night and my daughter lives abroad ( plus he hadn't been really aggressive since I finally plucked up the courage to call the police a couple of times .. which I never did in the passed because I thought it would affect his rights to see her, even in supervised contacts) so at the moment It feels just about bearable but I know faar from ideal .
From the outside looking in, it is hard to understand why anyone would allow themselves to remain in an abusive relationship. Most women that are in abusive relationships realize they need to get out, but it is not always that easy. There are children, finances, moving away from family and friends, changing jobs, community property, and the list goes on. The abuse itself seems to often take a back seat when factoring all that is involved to pick up and leave. On the flip side of that, the longer a person remains in the abusive relationship, the harder it will be to leave. No one deserves to be abused and if starting over is the only way out, then that's just a reality that one must face. Having worked with victims who were back and forth in their abusive relaitonships, I have come to realize, the one most important thing for a woman when she has made the decision to leave is for her to know she has full support and continued guidance to help keep her from returning to her abuser.