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Post by TWP on Nov 6, 2014 18:21:43 GMT
I had been continuing dancing with him; he would be nice for a bit then try some of his controlling techniques. I would go away feeling drained and exhausted.
Last night was the worst; and then he phoned trying to claim I was the problem because a coach has worked on my frame recently. I am loving that they are tweaking and extending my lines!! Nothing to do with him constantly putting me down and him constantly putting me under physical as well as emotional strain!
So I told him if that was the excuse he wanted, then he could have it! Have a nice life, and I put the phone down! Yeah!! Final weight lifted from my shoulders!!
I can't wait to enjoy the rest of my life!!
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janine
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Post by janine on Nov 7, 2014 2:47:21 GMT
Nice! Well done. I bet he was not expecting you to say: "enough." That is also the reason we strongly advise for 'no contact'- in all situations. Abusers simply never ever stop. They only get worse. And all that energy you have to spend by wondering what he will do next, and when will he do it ....could go into a lot more productive things...
Give yourself a big pat on the back! That must have felt like a relief
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steve
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Post by steve on Nov 7, 2014 4:51:45 GMT
Sweet!!! Well done! It usually feels great when first getting free, but there can be down times afterwards, so don't be afraid to post if you need help. But it's also great to post if you're feeling great! It helps others see that freedom feels GOOD!
---- Steve
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Post by TWP on Nov 8, 2014 7:29:00 GMT
Thanks Janine, Steve. It did feel such a relief. I know that things will not be simple! Since then, I have had some major ups and a big down.
I have been really enjoying being me, going back and exploring myself right back to my teenage and childhood years! It is great. I have been spending some time with someone, where I have found it a bit odd how he has behaved (no red flags though!), then realising that it is how 'normal' people behave! I have had so many unhealthy contacts and relationships, I didn't really know how enjoyable just dating and getting to know someone is!!
I just found out this morning that my ex has registered himself on a dance partner website. I only know because he looked at my profile. It made me feel sick inside; I don't know whether it was accidental, or to let me know he was out there. We had tried dancing together, but it seemed that he couldn't function unless he was controlling or belittling me - it didn't take long for the behaviour to come out.
I don't want to run into him out there, but I have learned that lots of people in the dance world observed his behaviour to me, but I can only feel sorry for anyone who takes the risk of dancing with him. I have debated posting picture of what he did on Facebook, but am not sure of motivation at the moment; revenge, warning others, sharing what I have been going through, part of my healing....... If I do share those photos, I want it to be for the right reasons.
I love not being obsessive about the housework though!!
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steve
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Post by steve on Nov 9, 2014 22:08:23 GMT
Creepy. Probably not accidental. Make sure you sever any possible connection so you can't even find out what he's doing. Yuck!
---- Steve
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