Post by SJ85 on Sept 29, 2014 22:49:48 GMT
Hi everyone,
I left my abusive partner 2 and a half years ago with my 2yr old and my then 9 year old.
He had, in the past, thrown a mirror at me whilst i was holding the baby. Punched and hit when losing matches on the X-box. Forced me to have sex with him when I was ill, asleep, when children were in the room. Name called in front the children, locked us in the house with no food and no means to get out or a phone. Alienated friends and family and threatened to take our son, my youngest, to London if I ever left. He also forced me to have an abortion, made me walk the 2 miles home after it and met me there with our 6 month old son among o.ther things. Doesn't even really touch on what he did to the children.
Most the time I am OK. The problem I thinkm is that my health visitor is pushing me to get help. We have spent so much time with the children on therapy and sorting them and I have thrown myself into work, I have accessed services, mostly through self referrals but my experience with services when going through court was so negative that i have real problems accessing them with any confidence. I did the freedom program but ended up supporting others rather than getting the help myself. I feel like I am help averse. i have no idea why, it's not intentional.
Since my relationship(
) ended I have problems trusting everyone, friends, family etc. Is this normal. I seem to be unable to make connections with people. Tbh I don't enjoy socializing, i view it as perfunctory. A necessity for the children rather than a need for myself. Has anyone else experienced this. I feel so alone all the time - does this feeling stop. The reality is forming relationships with people freaks me out. I don't trust my judgement anymore at all.
Is this PTSD? I hate sleeping, I hate the next day. i feel everyday that I am stalling the next one. My health visitor has put a TAU back on our house as we had trouble from my ex a few months ago and it begs the question does it ever end? Do you ever escape it. Truly escape it? 2 1/2 years down the line and we are still having meetings to discuss the affects on the kids and myself. Still trying to deal with all the external agencies and still feeling like a total deer in headlights. People that haven't been through it expect you to just get over it and people that have lean on me too much for support. I feel like i have no where to turn. I guess that's why I am here. Just feeling lost. Just want to know how you get back to feeling whole again - normal. Found?
I left my abusive partner 2 and a half years ago with my 2yr old and my then 9 year old.
He had, in the past, thrown a mirror at me whilst i was holding the baby. Punched and hit when losing matches on the X-box. Forced me to have sex with him when I was ill, asleep, when children were in the room. Name called in front the children, locked us in the house with no food and no means to get out or a phone. Alienated friends and family and threatened to take our son, my youngest, to London if I ever left. He also forced me to have an abortion, made me walk the 2 miles home after it and met me there with our 6 month old son among o.ther things. Doesn't even really touch on what he did to the children.
Most the time I am OK. The problem I thinkm is that my health visitor is pushing me to get help. We have spent so much time with the children on therapy and sorting them and I have thrown myself into work, I have accessed services, mostly through self referrals but my experience with services when going through court was so negative that i have real problems accessing them with any confidence. I did the freedom program but ended up supporting others rather than getting the help myself. I feel like I am help averse. i have no idea why, it's not intentional.
Since my relationship(
) ended I have problems trusting everyone, friends, family etc. Is this normal. I seem to be unable to make connections with people. Tbh I don't enjoy socializing, i view it as perfunctory. A necessity for the children rather than a need for myself. Has anyone else experienced this. I feel so alone all the time - does this feeling stop. The reality is forming relationships with people freaks me out. I don't trust my judgement anymore at all. Is this PTSD? I hate sleeping, I hate the next day. i feel everyday that I am stalling the next one. My health visitor has put a TAU back on our house as we had trouble from my ex a few months ago and it begs the question does it ever end? Do you ever escape it. Truly escape it? 2 1/2 years down the line and we are still having meetings to discuss the affects on the kids and myself. Still trying to deal with all the external agencies and still feeling like a total deer in headlights. People that haven't been through it expect you to just get over it and people that have lean on me too much for support. I feel like i have no where to turn. I guess that's why I am here. Just feeling lost. Just want to know how you get back to feeling whole again - normal. Found?
