Post by xmas13 on Sept 16, 2014 19:47:57 GMT
Hi I am new to this site and like a lot of woman on here I have suffered physical and emotional abuse. I have had 3 abusive relationships with my current one by far being the most emotionally damaging. You see I love him always have I have read "why does he do that" the follow up to this book "its my life now"
We have been together for just over 5 years, in that time we have separated at least 6-7 times. He came in to my life like a bolt of lighting, I feel for him straight away. It was two weeks into our time together when he told me that if I didn't stop speaking to an ex ( an ex 10 years before, which had grown in to a good friendship) we were over. I had just opened a new business spent £8,000 on the re-fit, and he demanded I close it down due to the fact that I had had a short fling with the landlord of the shop, which he actually knew. He moved into my home with my then 7 year old son, he was abusive verbally, told lies, drank and became worse. He went through my personal private diary and then made a story up that someone had called him and told him the very personnel information which my diary only held, but at which time I hadn't noticed it had vanished, I was ill that people could be so cruel to me the stress caused problems with my feet and I could barely walk, my body covered in huge welts. There is so so much more, thrown out on the street, called a bout, a cow, a slut, lied too, tried to take me to court over £4,000 he had given to me as loan, tried to steel a car off of me that was in his name which I was paying for but he wanted the balance of £14,000 paid in 7 days. The stress, lost time at my business, lost business contacts, financial hardship, smashed up phones, accusations of being unfaithful which I have never done even when we were apart. He has had at least 5 girls of which I know of in this time, told my son I was a fucken liar, lost my best 2 friends, didn't see my daughter, grandson and granddaughter for almost a year. which broke my heart. This is all very short for the pain I have endured at the hands of this man, there is as I have said so so much more.
The problem I have at the moment is I have Mr nice guy back !!! we have been apart and not fully back together. I have an opportunity for my business which he has said that if I go ahead with this it is over. He bought a house for us as a family which is currently being renovated, which I have always thought was only bought as an investment to make money. He said my business would go bust, I would be too busy to spend time with him, I would be too busy to spend time with my son. What he now promises is we move into the new house he pays the bills, I rent out my place and he will be happy.
Our time apart has been difficult but I have worked on me so much, I am terrified I make a huge mistake again with him I let this opportunity go and he just goes back to his old self, that would destroy me and my family .
I should also say that he abused his ex partner to whom he has a little girl of 4 years old who we have had every second weekend since she was 4 months old. I have spoke to his ex partner and she is destroyed she lost her business as she sold this to comply to his demands. His wife died of MS 4 years ago and had been ill for 10 years.
I am again ill with worry what do I do, do I trust his promises, has he seen the error of his ways ? any advise would be very much appreciated.
many many thank Alyson xx
We have been together for just over 5 years, in that time we have separated at least 6-7 times. He came in to my life like a bolt of lighting, I feel for him straight away. It was two weeks into our time together when he told me that if I didn't stop speaking to an ex ( an ex 10 years before, which had grown in to a good friendship) we were over. I had just opened a new business spent £8,000 on the re-fit, and he demanded I close it down due to the fact that I had had a short fling with the landlord of the shop, which he actually knew. He moved into my home with my then 7 year old son, he was abusive verbally, told lies, drank and became worse. He went through my personal private diary and then made a story up that someone had called him and told him the very personnel information which my diary only held, but at which time I hadn't noticed it had vanished, I was ill that people could be so cruel to me the stress caused problems with my feet and I could barely walk, my body covered in huge welts. There is so so much more, thrown out on the street, called a bout, a cow, a slut, lied too, tried to take me to court over £4,000 he had given to me as loan, tried to steel a car off of me that was in his name which I was paying for but he wanted the balance of £14,000 paid in 7 days. The stress, lost time at my business, lost business contacts, financial hardship, smashed up phones, accusations of being unfaithful which I have never done even when we were apart. He has had at least 5 girls of which I know of in this time, told my son I was a fucken liar, lost my best 2 friends, didn't see my daughter, grandson and granddaughter for almost a year. which broke my heart. This is all very short for the pain I have endured at the hands of this man, there is as I have said so so much more.
The problem I have at the moment is I have Mr nice guy back !!! we have been apart and not fully back together. I have an opportunity for my business which he has said that if I go ahead with this it is over. He bought a house for us as a family which is currently being renovated, which I have always thought was only bought as an investment to make money. He said my business would go bust, I would be too busy to spend time with him, I would be too busy to spend time with my son. What he now promises is we move into the new house he pays the bills, I rent out my place and he will be happy.
Our time apart has been difficult but I have worked on me so much, I am terrified I make a huge mistake again with him I let this opportunity go and he just goes back to his old self, that would destroy me and my family .
I should also say that he abused his ex partner to whom he has a little girl of 4 years old who we have had every second weekend since she was 4 months old. I have spoke to his ex partner and she is destroyed she lost her business as she sold this to comply to his demands. His wife died of MS 4 years ago and had been ill for 10 years.
I am again ill with worry what do I do, do I trust his promises, has he seen the error of his ways ? any advise would be very much appreciated.
many many thank Alyson xx
