New Post for wendyjoy

Hey wendyjoy,

Welcome here, glad you found us.

It sounds like you are already aware of the abuse in the relationship. Have you ever talked to a professional counselor, or maybe a DV hotline? If you have a safe phone (and internet connection too...) maybe research shelters/local/national DV hotlines to call. They have great staff on board who will NOT ask you for any personal details like your name or address. Unless you want to share something personal with them you do not have to.

I see them more like a free service- and you can check in what free options they have you might want to check out and tap into.

There are also a few good books we usually recommend to victims of abuse- like for example "Why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft.
Of course also with books, please be careful and do not order them to your house if your husband is controlling and checks your phone, post, and internet activities.

I remember my old neighbors from my childhood home worked together in a very successful local business. Until I was about 19 I never knew the father was very abusive. He used to kick the mother in the ribs, threaten her with a knife, his kids (my school friends) suffered a ton from the abuse. The wife used to drink a lot of wine to cope and she did leave him at age 60 finally- and stayed away for good. She now still works with him, but has her own apartment, feels free, and does not react to his abusive attacks anymore. This year she also finally left the company for good and retired- and went no contact despite grandchildren and of course children they share.

You do not have to live like this. And you also do not have to choose to live a safe life alone. Reach out to professional helplines and a therapist if you can.

We are here for anything you would like an ear for or advice.