Post by fudge123 on Apr 22, 2017 16:54:57 GMT
I'm hoping I'm not alone? That someone else has felt the same way and can advise me how to keep going?
i separated from my husband/ relationship of 30 years 18 months ago. I now know I coped with the whole awful relationship thing by disassociating. Not even acknowledging what was happening to me. What he had done and what he was doing. It's left me feeling disgusted with myself. How did I put up with it? What planet was I on?
My two adult daughters won't speak to me. He admitted he knew our eldest was being manipulative but would stick by her anyway. She promised me she would stop but didn't. It broke my heart I could have been battered or worse but she carried on. I don't understand. I only found out after that he would go to our other daughter and tell her his point of view. I don't know why she never came and talked to me about what the problem was. She just cut me out and said don't contact me.
We have a seven year old. He is fighting me in court for shared custody. My solicitor says he get half the week that he is asking for. When he left in the past he didn't even want to see her. Now we are divorced he wants shared because he knows it will reduce the child maintenance and I might not get half the value of our house when it is sold.
his new girlfriend is our daughters partners mother. Our daughters mother in law is his new girlfriend is that making sense.
The point is I feel terrible. I thought I would have support but I honest to goodness have no one. Not one family member has reached out. I ended up with no friends in my marriage non at all. I made a friend about 3 years ago but she isn't much of a friend I can see her eyes glaze over if I try and speak to her. She changes the subject.
I used to to sit in a development circle but I don't have anyone to babysit. If I ask my dad he dosnt want to because he wants to come to the circle. He won't go if I don't but won't let me go if he can't. I've realised my dad is a narcissist and I can't even talk to my mother, I had to cut her out my life because the pain she caused was unbearable. If I broke down she told me to stop it, or that's enough. What's your problem you have got rid of him now.
I dont feel well. I can feel like I'm not in my body...like I can see through some else's eyes. I feel faint and wobbly on my feet. I realise I was totally dependent on my ex I was with him from when I was 14, all my life. If something can go wrong it has. I'm so afraid I'll loose it. I can feel suicidal. I can't admit that it anyone in the middle of a child custody fight. I don't know what to do with myself. I had an operation hoping it would solve my health problems but in fact it went wrong and made things worse. I've since found out I have arthritis and a bakers cyst which makes my knee collapse.
I have a support worker from the local rape charity but I won't see her till Monday and she only works part time. I could call the phone line but say what? I'm posting to a help site because I have no one to talk to. I started messaging my cousin its actually my dads cousin but I don't think he's told his wife...he is helpful but I'm suspicious he hasn't told his wife. Should I be so paranoid? Should I ask him if he's told his wife? I realise I've revealed my vulnerability and I could put myself at risk...is that just paranoid?
I txt txt my dad yesterday and said I was finding it tough...he messaged back a bit then said he was going for a shower and would txt me in a bit...that was yesterday I havnt heard from him since...
i fight with myself....should I give my seven year old to her dad? She will have her sisters because they are fine with him...lived with him ( I was told by my dad but I am not exaggerating my dad is a compulsive liar, it's been a terrible shock at how bad he is. I must have walked around with blinkers on.my dad told me my kids are sick of their dad my ex and had caught him out lying. He even tried to bully them into coming to court against me and say I battered them as kids! They didn't do it. Now they have moved into a place of their own. Now my ex is saying he has prostrate cancer. He hasn't had a biopsy or a scan. God forgive me he is lying. With out our daughters who would care for our little girl when he is at work if he got shared custody? His girlfriend?.... he has a large family...I have no one it's just me and my little girl. I have no friends with kids her age I have no friends full stop...
im struggling to drive now and need an automatic so I went to a 'friend' I'd known 30 years who owns a garage. He spent all day bragging about how much money he had, he could retire, he's 55, how much property he has, for some reason I failed the hp, I'm a home owner, I don't won anyone a penny, he told me to come back when I'd saved some money! He could have made a deal with me I could have paid him. I know he is not a charity, he could have charged me the same amount as a hp company. My girlfriend who glazes over, her husband fits fences, mine came down in 2015, he said he would fit new panels but wouldn't charge me, I said I would be happy to pay him, because he said he would do it for free he hasn't bothered. I've asked and asked. He says he will come and dosnt turn up. I said to my friend how much would it be to have my fence fixed through the company she said It will be over £350 Her husband will do it but he dosnt turn up. I can't keep asking. That's not friendship is it. She asks me for a lift because she can't drive I give her one no questions asked even though she lives over the other side of our city I always help her if I can.
I know it's a terrible thing to say but if I'd known how awful it would be and how much I'd struggle how alone I'd be I would have stayed still. I know my ex was destroying me I know it was deliberate. I was suicidal then but I'm no better now. I don't know where to turn or how to make it better. Time is not helping. My neighbors are married and have a little girl same age as mine. It's keep up with the jones round here. She's not invited to play and we hear them as happy family's. I have the worst house in the best street. I know I should count my blessings because we have a house, food and at least I have an overdraft but I'm dying inside and fight not to give my daughter to her dad and end my life. What should I do?
I know now this message is bad but I honestly feel bad, I don't know how or where to find comfort, strength and any peace. I think I have ptsd, anxiety and serious depression but I can't admit it and don't know what to do.
Thanks and I'm sorry for the desperation
i separated from my husband/ relationship of 30 years 18 months ago. I now know I coped with the whole awful relationship thing by disassociating. Not even acknowledging what was happening to me. What he had done and what he was doing. It's left me feeling disgusted with myself. How did I put up with it? What planet was I on?
My two adult daughters won't speak to me. He admitted he knew our eldest was being manipulative but would stick by her anyway. She promised me she would stop but didn't. It broke my heart I could have been battered or worse but she carried on. I don't understand. I only found out after that he would go to our other daughter and tell her his point of view. I don't know why she never came and talked to me about what the problem was. She just cut me out and said don't contact me.
We have a seven year old. He is fighting me in court for shared custody. My solicitor says he get half the week that he is asking for. When he left in the past he didn't even want to see her. Now we are divorced he wants shared because he knows it will reduce the child maintenance and I might not get half the value of our house when it is sold.
his new girlfriend is our daughters partners mother. Our daughters mother in law is his new girlfriend is that making sense.
The point is I feel terrible. I thought I would have support but I honest to goodness have no one. Not one family member has reached out. I ended up with no friends in my marriage non at all. I made a friend about 3 years ago but she isn't much of a friend I can see her eyes glaze over if I try and speak to her. She changes the subject.
I used to to sit in a development circle but I don't have anyone to babysit. If I ask my dad he dosnt want to because he wants to come to the circle. He won't go if I don't but won't let me go if he can't. I've realised my dad is a narcissist and I can't even talk to my mother, I had to cut her out my life because the pain she caused was unbearable. If I broke down she told me to stop it, or that's enough. What's your problem you have got rid of him now.
I dont feel well. I can feel like I'm not in my body...like I can see through some else's eyes. I feel faint and wobbly on my feet. I realise I was totally dependent on my ex I was with him from when I was 14, all my life. If something can go wrong it has. I'm so afraid I'll loose it. I can feel suicidal. I can't admit that it anyone in the middle of a child custody fight. I don't know what to do with myself. I had an operation hoping it would solve my health problems but in fact it went wrong and made things worse. I've since found out I have arthritis and a bakers cyst which makes my knee collapse.
I have a support worker from the local rape charity but I won't see her till Monday and she only works part time. I could call the phone line but say what? I'm posting to a help site because I have no one to talk to. I started messaging my cousin its actually my dads cousin but I don't think he's told his wife...he is helpful but I'm suspicious he hasn't told his wife. Should I be so paranoid? Should I ask him if he's told his wife? I realise I've revealed my vulnerability and I could put myself at risk...is that just paranoid?
I txt txt my dad yesterday and said I was finding it tough...he messaged back a bit then said he was going for a shower and would txt me in a bit...that was yesterday I havnt heard from him since...
i fight with myself....should I give my seven year old to her dad? She will have her sisters because they are fine with him...lived with him ( I was told by my dad but I am not exaggerating my dad is a compulsive liar, it's been a terrible shock at how bad he is. I must have walked around with blinkers on.my dad told me my kids are sick of their dad my ex and had caught him out lying. He even tried to bully them into coming to court against me and say I battered them as kids! They didn't do it. Now they have moved into a place of their own. Now my ex is saying he has prostrate cancer. He hasn't had a biopsy or a scan. God forgive me he is lying. With out our daughters who would care for our little girl when he is at work if he got shared custody? His girlfriend?.... he has a large family...I have no one it's just me and my little girl. I have no friends with kids her age I have no friends full stop...
im struggling to drive now and need an automatic so I went to a 'friend' I'd known 30 years who owns a garage. He spent all day bragging about how much money he had, he could retire, he's 55, how much property he has, for some reason I failed the hp, I'm a home owner, I don't won anyone a penny, he told me to come back when I'd saved some money! He could have made a deal with me I could have paid him. I know he is not a charity, he could have charged me the same amount as a hp company. My girlfriend who glazes over, her husband fits fences, mine came down in 2015, he said he would fit new panels but wouldn't charge me, I said I would be happy to pay him, because he said he would do it for free he hasn't bothered. I've asked and asked. He says he will come and dosnt turn up. I said to my friend how much would it be to have my fence fixed through the company she said It will be over £350 Her husband will do it but he dosnt turn up. I can't keep asking. That's not friendship is it. She asks me for a lift because she can't drive I give her one no questions asked even though she lives over the other side of our city I always help her if I can.
I know it's a terrible thing to say but if I'd known how awful it would be and how much I'd struggle how alone I'd be I would have stayed still. I know my ex was destroying me I know it was deliberate. I was suicidal then but I'm no better now. I don't know where to turn or how to make it better. Time is not helping. My neighbors are married and have a little girl same age as mine. It's keep up with the jones round here. She's not invited to play and we hear them as happy family's. I have the worst house in the best street. I know I should count my blessings because we have a house, food and at least I have an overdraft but I'm dying inside and fight not to give my daughter to her dad and end my life. What should I do?
I know now this message is bad but I honestly feel bad, I don't know how or where to find comfort, strength and any peace. I think I have ptsd, anxiety and serious depression but I can't admit it and don't know what to do.
Thanks and I'm sorry for the desperation