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Post by Jewel on Feb 24, 2014 15:24:20 GMT
I'm checked in and through security! I have a 3 1/2 hour layover in Boston and then we'll be off to Dublin! My dad is going to pick me up, then it's less than an hour's drive south and I'll be home! My phone's still been ringing off the hook so I silenced it. I was thinking I'd keep it until I get there though, just in case my dad and I have trouble finding each other, but now I'm wondering if it could be traced somehow? Or would he be able to tell that I'm out of the country if he calls it after I get there?
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Post by Jewel on Feb 24, 2014 16:13:25 GMT
Oh, I forgot to ask: I just discovered last night that my face is bruised where he hit me, and it's darker this morning. Really, why now, two days later? My dad is going to freak out. I am supposed to be meeting up with a bunch of family and some friends in only 2 days, and I didn't plan on telling them anything, at least not all together. I'm lucky in that I've never had to hide bruises before, but I really don't want everyone staring and asking questions. Is there a way to cover it or get it to go away quickly?
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Post by Janine 1984 on Feb 24, 2014 19:12:24 GMT
Yeahhhhh, have a fun and good flight!!!! Have a drink on the airplane to relax if that feels right I am SO proud of you and happy right now that you are on your way HOME!!! Just a few days after you wrote us first. Way to go girl!!!! I wouldnt worry about the phone- just throw out the SIM Card once you found your dad. Unless your Ex is involved with police it would be very hard to trace a phone-- and once you changed your email and everything he has never ever a chance to get to you to contact you. Itll take some time but your body and mind can rest now and balance back from these past years. We are here for any weird emotions that might come up- the aftermath can be a rollercoaster ride but in some cases it can also be surprisingly easy and smooth. Especially if you have no more legal stuff going on with your Ex, no common property or children. You even left the continent so he has nothing left to control you with Bruising does occur days later. I am very sorry he hit you so hard it is showing in your face now. Just know you have NOTHING to be ashamed of. NOTHING. It will be gone fast soon so I bet by the time the family gathering is you wont be able to see it. It is not your fault-- it was him. If anything maybe your story will encourage another woman who is being abused right now to do the same and leave. I found once I opened up to others- it was shocking but also a relief to see how many women I NEVER thought had experienced abuse, had or were experiencing it!!! I once found bruises on both shoulders of the aunt of my boyfriend. I always had a bad vibe about her husband. She had two blue bruises on both shoulders and my first gut instinct was: He did that to her. He must have grabbed her shoulders and shook her until she bruised. I asked her about the bruises but she brushed it off and said they were from moving stuff around.....I dont believe it. But it is normal and your own RIGHT to not want to talk about it. And to only tell people you feel comfortable talking to. Reclaim your gifts and empower yourself -- the days when someone else could push you around and define your life are over for good. Itll be fun to see everyone again!!!! Once the first few tears are over I promise this Ex will NOT be a topic anymore unless you decide to bring it up. A few weeks back home and life WILL be normal again slowly but surely. We are here should you need an ear anytime Cheers to transatlantic flights and Ireland in the springtime will be beautiful so soon!!!!
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Post by Jewel on Feb 24, 2014 21:00:40 GMT
Boston! Yes, he pretty much knocked the wind out of me. I'm just so used to not bruising. He has twisted my arm hard enough to put me on the floor, kneed me in the ribs and grabbed me so tightly I was in tears and I never bruised. I'm a freak of nature, I guess. I just laughed a little thinking about it now. It feels wrong, because it certainly wasn't a bit amusing at the time. Well, hopefully I can do some creative work with makeup if it's not gone by Wednesday. I am sure most everyone is going to find out the truth eventually, and I'm okay with that. I just don't want to be overwhelmed with them all finding out at once.
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Post by Janine 1984 on Feb 24, 2014 21:18:24 GMT
Nice! It will be a good feeling to board the next plane, knowing the final destination is home then Enjoy the flight as much as you can. It is YOUR life now and it will get easier from here on out. I bet it'll be nice to be around your people, your English accent, your food and the sights of home and what you grew up with. The perfect environment to heal. Now jump on that bus in the air and hop over the Atlantic back home. It is kind of "fun" to think he will most likely think you are still in the city you lived in with him and he has NO idea what you are up to. That is our revenge to abusers. We move on to live a GOOD life. Nothing is sweeter than that. My Ex never found out where I was or what I did. He thought I went back home to Europe but I really only did for a few weeks and then moved abroad again to accept a scholarship for a Master's degree. He did visit Europe later on but a different country than mine and wrote me via a new facebook account he created that he missed me and would like to visit my country to "make sure I was ok" hahahahah yeah loud laughter. It is comical now looking back. But certainly not while youre in it. However, since I went no contact i felt very satisfied to block his new account too and leave him to never find out where I was and how good I made my life. Have your favorite food when you are home, sleep deep and relax as much as you can. It will be exciting yo be home for a bit, then get your own place and do the things you love without fear or pain. I hope the food on the airplane will be good! If you leave the US now then i assume itll be a nightflight with breakfast over the ocean -- those flights are very sweet. The sunrise will look beautiful above the clouds!!!!
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Post by Jewel on Feb 24, 2014 21:49:02 GMT
Yes, bring on the shepherd's pie and Guinness stout! Yum. Really, Janine, I can't thank you enough for your help and support over these past several days. It's made this all so much easier, and it's meant so much to me. One day I hope to be able to come back to the U.S. to visit, but for now it will be good to be back home.
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Post by Janine 1984 on Feb 24, 2014 22:57:00 GMT
Aww...makes my day to hear that, I very much appreciate your kind words! You know, the person who helped you the most was really...YOU!!! By the time you came here (and it was only a few days ago ) you were already ready to accept the situation as being unbearable and you had found the courage to share your story here and seek out help. You can be so proud of yourself!!! The USA isnt going anywhere and being a citizen you can always, always come back. We will always be here for you too if you need a place to check in with where people understand whatever emotions come your way in the weeks to come or once the one year mark hits next year of the date you left. Sometimes DV victims can experience anniversary pain during that day with flashbacks, nightmares etc. but it doesnt always have to be that case. And boy do I love shepherd's pie. I am German but we have lots of Irish pubs over at home and that is one of my favorites. And no beer is better than Guinness! I hope the flight is calm and that you enjoy lots of smiles amongst your family back home! You alone made this happen and have proven to be resilient and very strong. Way to go girl! And by the number of people who took a look at your story on the forum I BET you inspired other women who are not yet ready to leave ...and who are not yet ready to talk about their situation. So thanks to you!!!
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Post by Jewel on Feb 25, 2014 1:08:36 GMT
Aww...you are too sweet! And we are somewhere over the North Atlantic right now. I'm really going to make it.
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Post by Janine 1984 on Feb 25, 2014 1:24:06 GMT
That is amazing Jewel! (Plus I didnt know we can really access the internet on airplanes now- should really get onto that smart phone wave soon ) Enjoy your days home...breathe deeply, laugh a lot and just remember: None of this was your fault. We will be here should you need us. And YES, you are going to make it!!!!
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