Post by no1toturnto on Feb 11, 2014 11:27:13 GMT
I can't believe this has happened to me.my first relationship was with the father of my children.10 years together.he was very manipulative,controlling and the main abuse was sexual,psychological and mindgames.I left this relationship after help from professionals.I had counselling.i then stayed away from men.Believing it was better to stay single and to take time to rebuild my life,self esteem and become stronger.So in my mind there was no room for a relationship.
Whilst being single I had a couple of one night stands.But I decided this wasn,t for me but also that I wanted something to fulfill my sexual needs.I hope this doesn,t make me seem bad.I just want to put a clear and honest story across.I met this guy through a dating site.We agreed to meet on the basis of seeing how things go but that he knew all i wanted was friends with benefits.He was a bit younger than me.I felt this way I would not fall in love with him and vice versa.Also that i would be safer after having such an abusive marriage.Things went well between us and we saw each other in the way agreed.He told me a bit about his life how he didn,t want a relationship but something to fill the gap.so everything seemed perfect.He wasn,t english and only move to the uk about 10 months before we met.anything things seem to be going ok with us.but after a month or so he told me more about himself.How he felt alone in this country but now that he met me he didn,t feel so alone.Then after a while he started saying he loved me and could we have a relationship.Because I felt sorry for him I agreed.
This is where everything went wrong.After months I started to get signs of jealousy.Wanting to know my whereabouts.Things started to slowly creep in that were controlling .We stayed together 16 months.The last 2 months were terrible.instead of trust getting better it seems the longer we were together the worse it got.To the point where he was turning up at a girls night out & watching me from a distance.constantly texting.trying to dictate what I wore etc.But the worse things were that he insinuated that i slept with other men.I managed to get him to leave me in the end by causing a minor disagreement.That was about a month ago.He then text me saying could we still be friends as he was so alone again and because i did so much for him through the relationship.He wanted to keep the friendship because i was so kind and never met someone like that.I agreed and one of the reasons i agreed was because i leant him money whilst we were together and i hoped and he said he would repay me.
Anyway I then would get text when he was drunk asking to come around.Texts when he knew I was out.Then promises and begs of please can we try again.At this point i was feeling stronger.Knew getting back together would be wrong thing to do.On my last evening out he begged to see me.I agreed,once I agreed he said no.see if you can pull better than me.I told him thats it I dont want to hear from you again.I then got 3 hours of constant texts apologising,the begging,then telling me to leave him alone.it was a cycle. then calls.Finally I agreed to meet.He actually turned up at my house.I told him what he'd done how this was his final warning.We did sleep together.But yet again he made me feel disgusting.we had just started to have intercourse and he then took a condom out.I said how dare he.He said well i dont know what you've been upto in last month.I started to cry.Told him to get off and he continued saying shhh be quiet and that he loved me.I couldnt believe id allowed it to happen again.He stayed til the morning and then asked for a lift back home after telling me he did not want a relationship with me but to continue seeing me as friends.I told him no and to make his own way back home.I then felt guilty and said no i will give you a lift but he refused.I then sent a text saying i wish him all the best but never want to see him again.He then text saying how he'd had to walk 45 minutes home and didnt want to hear from me.I said ok i will delete and block you.he replkied yes please.dont want to hear from you ever again.he then blocked me.I have also block him but feel he probably will contact me again.Probably when he's drunk from a different phone or something.But i know i have to stay strong.
I feel terrible to have been in a second abusive relationship.to have allowed this to happen again.I know i have to stay focused i me now and not to enter into any relationship with a man.
Whilst being single I had a couple of one night stands.But I decided this wasn,t for me but also that I wanted something to fulfill my sexual needs.I hope this doesn,t make me seem bad.I just want to put a clear and honest story across.I met this guy through a dating site.We agreed to meet on the basis of seeing how things go but that he knew all i wanted was friends with benefits.He was a bit younger than me.I felt this way I would not fall in love with him and vice versa.Also that i would be safer after having such an abusive marriage.Things went well between us and we saw each other in the way agreed.He told me a bit about his life how he didn,t want a relationship but something to fill the gap.so everything seemed perfect.He wasn,t english and only move to the uk about 10 months before we met.anything things seem to be going ok with us.but after a month or so he told me more about himself.How he felt alone in this country but now that he met me he didn,t feel so alone.Then after a while he started saying he loved me and could we have a relationship.Because I felt sorry for him I agreed.
This is where everything went wrong.After months I started to get signs of jealousy.Wanting to know my whereabouts.Things started to slowly creep in that were controlling .We stayed together 16 months.The last 2 months were terrible.instead of trust getting better it seems the longer we were together the worse it got.To the point where he was turning up at a girls night out & watching me from a distance.constantly texting.trying to dictate what I wore etc.But the worse things were that he insinuated that i slept with other men.I managed to get him to leave me in the end by causing a minor disagreement.That was about a month ago.He then text me saying could we still be friends as he was so alone again and because i did so much for him through the relationship.He wanted to keep the friendship because i was so kind and never met someone like that.I agreed and one of the reasons i agreed was because i leant him money whilst we were together and i hoped and he said he would repay me.
Anyway I then would get text when he was drunk asking to come around.Texts when he knew I was out.Then promises and begs of please can we try again.At this point i was feeling stronger.Knew getting back together would be wrong thing to do.On my last evening out he begged to see me.I agreed,once I agreed he said no.see if you can pull better than me.I told him thats it I dont want to hear from you again.I then got 3 hours of constant texts apologising,the begging,then telling me to leave him alone.it was a cycle. then calls.Finally I agreed to meet.He actually turned up at my house.I told him what he'd done how this was his final warning.We did sleep together.But yet again he made me feel disgusting.we had just started to have intercourse and he then took a condom out.I said how dare he.He said well i dont know what you've been upto in last month.I started to cry.Told him to get off and he continued saying shhh be quiet and that he loved me.I couldnt believe id allowed it to happen again.He stayed til the morning and then asked for a lift back home after telling me he did not want a relationship with me but to continue seeing me as friends.I told him no and to make his own way back home.I then felt guilty and said no i will give you a lift but he refused.I then sent a text saying i wish him all the best but never want to see him again.He then text saying how he'd had to walk 45 minutes home and didnt want to hear from me.I said ok i will delete and block you.he replkied yes please.dont want to hear from you ever again.he then blocked me.I have also block him but feel he probably will contact me again.Probably when he's drunk from a different phone or something.But i know i have to stay strong.
I feel terrible to have been in a second abusive relationship.to have allowed this to happen again.I know i have to stay focused i me now and not to enter into any relationship with a man.
