The second of Kim's articles from Rhiannon3 is now online on Hidden Hurt, and have immediately made it a 'sticky' as it was referred to so often in the previous forum.
No Contact After Leaving Abuse is the act of cutting off all communication from an abusive person in order to reclaim your life and become a survivor of abuse in the most permanent way. Cutting off all communication means exactly what it says - no conversations, no email, no phone calls, no text messages, no notes, no messages passed via common friends, family or other third parties. In effect, you render the abusive person's tactics useless - an act which ultimately sets you free.
The following ways of keeping to No Contact After Leaving abuse have been collected from various members of our long-term message board. These are tactics they have found to work!
Since the whole article was basically put together by contributions from this (and previous) board members, I have included a form at the base of the page for us to continue adding thoughts and experiences along the same theme.
Another great article... and as difficult as it is to break the "betrayal bond," as much as we long for them and would go back in a second for that glorious moment of reconciliation, going cold turkey/no contact is critical to getting to a place of indifference. It took me over two years to get to that place. But, if I'd been in contact, he would have kept me spinning in his game.
He kept me spinning in his game by all the damage he did to me. I stopped contact, but then 3 1/2 years after the break-up he contacted me here! On hidden Hurt! When they are crazy stalkers it doesn't matter what you do. It doesn't matter that you stopped contact for years. They are never done because they have anger issues that run so deep that they will probably stalk you at the first opportunity even if it is 10 or 20 years from now. Which means they have a serious mental illness. But, they are fine as far as they are concerned.
Do you find you can never focus on one task? You keep searching for them online and hate yourself for It? I left my ex of 6 years after constant emotional abuse, then he punched the back of my head three times and started slapping me In under a month, that's why I left....Its so draining and your mind feels like a washing machine, swirling round and round. You don't know what to do with yourself, and everyone thinks your crazy for missing them.