Post by Mo on Jan 19, 2014 0:55:25 GMT
Hi, Can you help me?
I`ve been married for 30 years, during this time, there were some furious arguments. There was never any assault on me but, plenty of walls and doors got punched and items broken. In the early days, I thought the problems lay mainly with me, they didn`t. I thought he would mellow with age,even thought if I continued to act in a loving way, it would rub off on him! There would be months of calm-even years-I really thought he loved me- then there would be some trigger which would cause more aggro.Eventually, I came to realise there was a pattern in his abuse to me. I also started to keep journals, where I would note down the details of the latest abusive episode,in an effort to recall exactly what triggered it, and exactly what was said, as he always distorted my version of events.
Three years ago,after he had an argument with my daughter where I stepped in to try and calm things, he directed his abuse towards me, in a very hateful way that I hadn`t experienced before.For months he wouldn`t speak to me,he trashed some of my stuff and generally victimized me.
I feel paralysed. I want to leave but feel so guilty.Recently he has threatened me and told me he hates me. I feel like it`s happening to someone else -not me! All I ever wanted was to be happily married, looking forward to retirement, grandkids etc., but I feel so depressed, if I stay, I`ll be at the mercy of his moods - If I go, well, the future just seems so lonely and bleak. It`s like I`ve no energy left, and I must admit my thoughts have got very dark indeed.
I`m well and truly stuck.
I`ve been married for 30 years, during this time, there were some furious arguments. There was never any assault on me but, plenty of walls and doors got punched and items broken. In the early days, I thought the problems lay mainly with me, they didn`t. I thought he would mellow with age,even thought if I continued to act in a loving way, it would rub off on him! There would be months of calm-even years-I really thought he loved me- then there would be some trigger which would cause more aggro.Eventually, I came to realise there was a pattern in his abuse to me. I also started to keep journals, where I would note down the details of the latest abusive episode,in an effort to recall exactly what triggered it, and exactly what was said, as he always distorted my version of events.
Three years ago,after he had an argument with my daughter where I stepped in to try and calm things, he directed his abuse towards me, in a very hateful way that I hadn`t experienced before.For months he wouldn`t speak to me,he trashed some of my stuff and generally victimized me.
I feel paralysed. I want to leave but feel so guilty.Recently he has threatened me and told me he hates me. I feel like it`s happening to someone else -not me! All I ever wanted was to be happily married, looking forward to retirement, grandkids etc., but I feel so depressed, if I stay, I`ll be at the mercy of his moods - If I go, well, the future just seems so lonely and bleak. It`s like I`ve no energy left, and I must admit my thoughts have got very dark indeed.
I`m well and truly stuck.