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Post by A on Aug 19, 2014 20:35:12 GMT
I've had quite a day, ive not been feeling well and my boyfriend completely belittled me. He was shouting horrible names at me in my house which my brother over heard but didn't say anything to him only to me he asked "why does he speak to you like that" I said be was just joking. He told me I don't look adter myself how a women should when I do, told me I was a "thick b*tch". It's so overwhelming.
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janine
Member
Admin
Posts: 1,185 
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Post by janine on Aug 19, 2014 22:41:35 GMT
Hey A,
I am sorry he is choosing to verbally and emotionally abuse you today. It is not ok to call you names or make insulting comments on your weight or physical appearance.
Have you looked into reading "Why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft yet? The book explains very well when and how abusers apply words and other emotional tactics to intentionally harm you and your self esteem.
The fact you have to lie and excuse your partner's behavior to your own brother, shows you how much he has manipulated you into playing along with him in his abuse game.
He can afford to yell at you in front of family or close enough so they witness the abuse-- because by now he knows you do not stand up for yourself in front of him or them.
Experiencing such abuse from a boyfriend can be very overwhelming and disturbing.
They never change and this abuse will get worse over time.
Reach out to a good counselor, they really can be such a wonderful gift and help along this way. Read up on the warning signs of bad counselors, and then invest some time and resources into finding one that feels right and maybe is even specialized in domestic violence.
We are here and listen and understand why it is hard to leave, or maybe even not an option you consider yet at this point.
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Post by A on Aug 20, 2014 8:49:53 GMT
Thanks for all this support. Yeah I have looked into reading it! And I'm going to start soon.
The fact I have to lie to my own family is making me hurt even more, and what annoyes me most is that he doesn't even think what he's doing or has been doing for the past 3 years was or is even avuse.
He chose to become emotionally abusive because I told him to please not speak to me like that especially when my brother could hear us. and he got even more angry, got in my face but didn't hurt me. Just threw my things at me.
He's a very powering young man, he speaks to me in a tone and such a patronising way where you just end up listening to him. You don't even try to stick up for yourself because it really isn't worth it.
I'm a hundred percent going too start to read "why does he do that?" Thanks a lot. Again. I'm so glad I found this.
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