Post by kt on Aug 3, 2014 16:55:10 GMT
Good evening.
I have just joined this forum as I really need somewhere to let off some steam.
Ive been married to my husband for 12 years and hes been verbally abusive for practically the full time. Not long before we married, his ex partner took his kids away and he didnt see them for 6 months, had to fight for very limited access and missed out a lot on them growing up. Initially I put his behaviour and mood swings entirely down to this and believed that when access was sorted etc, his behaviour would improve.
When we got together I also had a 7 year old son. We moved into my husbands house and Ive never been allowed to forget that its HIS house.
He works away from home on a 5 on/5 off rotation. His 5 weeks at home have been a pattern of drinking to excess almost every weekend, sitting up through the night blaring music like a disco while we try to sleep, with incidents including :-
Throwing my sons computer down a flight of external stairs, smashing it to pieces
Removing tiles from the kitchen using a hammer and chisel at 3am
Forcefully dragging me from bed
Shaking my sons bunk bed (while the two of us slept in it) in an attempt to get me out the bed
Breaking down the toilet door as I tried to hide from him
Putting his fist and face through a glass door in a fight with his nephew who was trying to restrain him from going on a drunken rampage
Constant verbal abuse of my family and friends in attempts to isolate me from them. (he managed to succeed with one)
Accusing all my friends of being liars - making up stories and telling me they said them.
Telling me I am not welcome at his parents/sisters/brothers cos none of them like me/have any time for me
Putting me down for having been brought up on a council scheme (as we he for most of his childhood)
Constantly accusing me of having affairs
Broadcasting my private life to anyone who would listen
Casting up things Id done in my life before I even met him
Posting naked pictures of me on the internet
Constantly checking up on me to see where I am
Objecting to me going out with friends
Forcing me outside into the snow bare foot
Demanding to know where I am at all times
Putting almost every gift ive ever given him in the bin
Putting photos of my nieces and nephews in the bin
Hiding my sons ipad
The list goes on......
The situation now is that he and my son (now 20 and still living at home while he is at uni) dont communicate at all. He blames my son for being "a horrible rude wee liar who has hated me from day one", while refusing to accept any blame for it at all. My son now despises him, didnt at first but grew to hate him over the years and is unlikely to speak to him again.
On a recent holiday he forced me to sleep outside one night after an argument because it was his room and he paid for it.
Ive just had a blazing row with him as he is due home from work this week and I am absolutely dreading it. We have a family wedding which he cannot attend as my brother (who lives abroad and is only home for the wedding) wants to punch his head in and I'll be with my son/friends. He cannot be trusted to behave and I wouldnt want to take any chances for the bride and groom.
He is forever telling me he loves me and will do anything to make me happy and in the next sentence tells me how much he dislikes my son and my friends. I constantly question how he can love be but continue to put me through all of the above but he cant answer other than say "You cant tell how I feel."
Anyway, I dont really know why Im posting this as I know that its only me who can change it. It just feels good to let off some steam.
I have just joined this forum as I really need somewhere to let off some steam.
Ive been married to my husband for 12 years and hes been verbally abusive for practically the full time. Not long before we married, his ex partner took his kids away and he didnt see them for 6 months, had to fight for very limited access and missed out a lot on them growing up. Initially I put his behaviour and mood swings entirely down to this and believed that when access was sorted etc, his behaviour would improve.
When we got together I also had a 7 year old son. We moved into my husbands house and Ive never been allowed to forget that its HIS house.
He works away from home on a 5 on/5 off rotation. His 5 weeks at home have been a pattern of drinking to excess almost every weekend, sitting up through the night blaring music like a disco while we try to sleep, with incidents including :-
Throwing my sons computer down a flight of external stairs, smashing it to pieces
Removing tiles from the kitchen using a hammer and chisel at 3am
Forcefully dragging me from bed
Shaking my sons bunk bed (while the two of us slept in it) in an attempt to get me out the bed
Breaking down the toilet door as I tried to hide from him
Putting his fist and face through a glass door in a fight with his nephew who was trying to restrain him from going on a drunken rampage
Constant verbal abuse of my family and friends in attempts to isolate me from them. (he managed to succeed with one)
Accusing all my friends of being liars - making up stories and telling me they said them.
Telling me I am not welcome at his parents/sisters/brothers cos none of them like me/have any time for me
Putting me down for having been brought up on a council scheme (as we he for most of his childhood)
Constantly accusing me of having affairs
Broadcasting my private life to anyone who would listen
Casting up things Id done in my life before I even met him
Posting naked pictures of me on the internet
Constantly checking up on me to see where I am
Objecting to me going out with friends
Forcing me outside into the snow bare foot
Demanding to know where I am at all times
Putting almost every gift ive ever given him in the bin
Putting photos of my nieces and nephews in the bin
Hiding my sons ipad
The list goes on......
The situation now is that he and my son (now 20 and still living at home while he is at uni) dont communicate at all. He blames my son for being "a horrible rude wee liar who has hated me from day one", while refusing to accept any blame for it at all. My son now despises him, didnt at first but grew to hate him over the years and is unlikely to speak to him again.
On a recent holiday he forced me to sleep outside one night after an argument because it was his room and he paid for it.
Ive just had a blazing row with him as he is due home from work this week and I am absolutely dreading it. We have a family wedding which he cannot attend as my brother (who lives abroad and is only home for the wedding) wants to punch his head in and I'll be with my son/friends. He cannot be trusted to behave and I wouldnt want to take any chances for the bride and groom.
He is forever telling me he loves me and will do anything to make me happy and in the next sentence tells me how much he dislikes my son and my friends. I constantly question how he can love be but continue to put me through all of the above but he cant answer other than say "You cant tell how I feel."
Anyway, I dont really know why Im posting this as I know that its only me who can change it. It just feels good to let off some steam.