karen
Member
"Trust Your Journey"
Posts: 1,518
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Post by karen on May 22, 2018 3:19:03 GMT
Hey Samantha,
No , it never seems like justice is served enough. They never seem to get what they deserve which is to be miserable. 90 days is 3 months, so hopefully he will be detained all summer. Being on probation will also mean if he does anything to violate it, he will be picked up. I would be vigilant about this once he gets out. Does he know about the baby?
Leaving for your sister's home sounds really good! A few things to think about..don't post ANYTHING on any form of social media about where you may possibly be. We never know who knows someone who knows someone who knows him and some how he will know your whole life and whereabouts. I have a friend whose ex-husband who tried to choke her..always knew where she was and what was happening in her life. Turns out one of her "friends" on social media was feeding him information. We just don't always know who we can and can not trust. Be smart. Assume everyone on Social Media is connected to him. That will help remind us of what to not share.
I can understand your Mom's point of view. Maybe she would allow you to do a few things or at least talk to her about them to keep her safe? Like, change the locks on all the doors to her house. This is inconvenient I know,, but you just don't know if he ever got a key made. It sounds a bit crazy, but these jerks go to great lengths to get revenge. She loves her home, 53 years is a very long time to be "attached" to something. Glad your friend will check on her.
Hopefully, you can go forward and start to heal. Being away will really make a difference. I know for me, I love it when I am out of town, no opportunity to run into the exes or be around places that have reminders.
You are heading in a good direction I think!
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Post by samantha on May 23, 2018 2:45:58 GMT
Hi Karen
No he doesn't know about the baby. I haven't even seen him since I ran into him at that restaurant. He won't know until after the divorce is filed and we go to court. Which hopefully will be 6 months after I move.
My mom is having the locks on her house changed, and an alarm system installed. I told her I wouldn't leave until she agreed. I'll feel much better knowing her house is secured.
I'm actually not on social media at all. I was but he gave me so much grief over everything I said, everyone I talked to. He went off on me once for having a friendly conversation in the comments section of a post--so not even a private conversation-- with a guy I went to kindergarten with and haven't seen in 15 years! It got so bad I eventually closed my account. So anyway, I have no plans to open it back up any time soon.
I'm leaving here in the morning. I'm actually feeling relieved that I'll be able to just rest and recover and focus on staying healthy for my baby without always looking over my shoulder.
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karen
Member
"Trust Your Journey"
Posts: 1,518
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Post by karen on May 25, 2018 2:17:28 GMT
Hi Samantha, so glad he doesn't know about the baby! That is a really good thing! That is a relief as well!
Yay to your Mom making her home safer! Securing her house is a very wise thing to do. I am really happy to hear that she agreed to having it all done! Knowing she is safe will really help to relieve some of your stress!
Funny, my ex-boyfriend and I had a HUGE fight over a friend of mine that I haven't seen in 30 years, we started to talk again on FB. My ex went nuts and accused me of having an affair. He ended up kicking me out of the house I was living in with him as a result. Our relationship ended less than 2 weeks later for good. They are paranoid, they make accusations and they can't stand the thought of us having any other contact with anyone other than them!
I am glad you are starting the next chapter of your life! Be safe and be smart and so glad you will have some time to rest and focus on helping you to be healthy and allow this baby to be healthy too! Hope all is well as you head out! Leave your ex in your hometown where He belongs. Mentally leave him behind.
It sounds like you are on a very good path for you and your son!
Hugs to you Samantha!
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Post by samantha on Jun 10, 2018 1:50:58 GMT
Hi Karen, I just wanted to give you an update. I'm at my sister's now and I'm working part time in her office. It's not much but it's experience I can put on a resume when I go back to work full time. I'm doing better. I have bad days (and bad nights) but it's starting to be more good than bad. I am seeing a counselor and I think it's going pretty well. The pregnancy is finally feeling real. I felt him move for the first time a few days ago. I had felt flutters before but I'm getting definite kicks now. It's kind of cool. I had another ultrasound and the quad screen and everything is normal. I'm having fun looking through baby name books. It's still bizarre that I'm going to be a mom but I'm already falling in love with this guy. My mom has not heard from my ex, but he has called my sister 3 times asking if she's heard from me. She hung up the phone and I've reported it. I'm not sure what will come of it since he's already in jail, but he hasn't called since. It's got to be a violation for him to call people asking for me, right? Ugh..I'm not that worried because he's locked up but I'm going to find out on Monday. Oh and I wanted to share, because I was having a really hard time back home with being touched. I didn't even want my mom to hug me. Well last week I had a pregnancy massage and it was amazing. My therapist brought it up. I was super nervous about it but I had a consultation with the massage therapist first and she really put me at ease. She was trained in massage for trauma recovery and certified in pregnancy massage. I'm definitely going to keep going.
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karen
Member
"Trust Your Journey"
Posts: 1,518
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Post by karen on Jun 12, 2018 0:14:36 GMT
Hi Samantha, it sounds like you are doing pretty good! Part-time work to build your resume' is definitely a step in the right direction. The good and bad nights..all very normal given all you have been through. Counselling will definitely help also. That is so cool that you can feel him kick! I remember that feeling with both my daughters and it was the best feeling in the world to know I had a life inside me that I was going to love and care for forever. My daughters were and still are the most important people in my life. And you should have fun! I believe children are blessings and being a Mother is an honor and a privilege. You deserve all the joy having a child can bring!! Don't let anyone or anything change how joyful it is to be pregnant and a Mom-to-be. One thing I would suggest if you can..ask your sister not to take any of his calls. I wouldn't answer the phone at all. Blocking the number may help. He wants attention, he wants her to slip up and try and determine where you are. Background noise, or anything that could give your whereabouts away, or even your sister inadvertently acknowledging something which would give him some sort of clue. No contact for her too can be the best for you both. That massage sounds like such a great thing! WOW! Massages are so therapeutic! I had one about a year ago and just a 5 minute one a month ago and it was so worth it. Being touched is a basic need of humans. Positive touch is so beneficial to our health. All of that healthy positive energy is good for you and for your baby. That is what will keep him healthy too and growing strong. Samantha, you sound so good! I am so happy that you are feeling better and things are coming together for you. You are healing and getting stronger and loving you and your son! Everything is a step towards joy and happiness and you deserve it all! Hugs to you and thank you for updating, I am smiling and sending more good vibes your way!! <3!
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