The first time i went to family court trying to protect myself and my children from abuse, because there was only 1 report of violence and i hadnt been to the police before, the judge said i must be making it all up. The next time i went to family court trying to protect myself and my children from abuse, because i had documented everything and had many reports from social services and police of violence, the judge said i was 'case building' and had made it all up.
i wonder if i was a woman and not a man if the judge would say the same thing.
I think the judge is the problem. If they don't believe that domestic violence is real and they draw conclusions because you are a man and not a woman? The judge is the problem. I wish there was an easy answer misterm.
I struggle with the fact that there are so many people you have gone to and none of them can convince a judge that your partner is crazy and horrible. They need to get their head out of the Dark Ages and pay attention to the evidence if your case.
I am a woman and was beat-up in the court. Years ago my ex-boyfriend friended my neighbors across the street. Notice my EX friends my neighbors after I break up with him. He used it as a vantage point to watch me and eventually make his move. One day the neighbor wasn't home. My ex-boyfriend was on her property screaming at me from across the street. He wouldn't stop!! I called the cops. A cop came out, and told me to get a restraining order or he couldn't do anything. I said my ex-boyfriend is still across the street. Go over there and tell him to leave me alone. Well, apparently the cop told my ex the same thing. Cause my ex passed me on the highway to beat me to the court house to file restraining order on ME!!. My ex-boyfriend wrote in his petition that I'm a drunk, mentally ill, violent, and it swayed the judge. All I wrote in my petition is that he is a bully and he is yelling and screaming at me from across the street, and I want it to stop. And, my petition meant NOTHING to the judge.
The judge was on the side of my ex boyfriend.
and, here I was minding my own business. going out into my yard to get firewood in November, and I get verbally assaulted by my ex-boyfriend from across the street. When he doesn't live on our street!
So, I think it depends on what side your judge is on. They are supposed to be neutral. I gotta wonder if sociopaths get into positions of power
yes it does seem common that the judge sides with the abuser. given that judges started out as lawyers it would suggest a certain personality type. as we all know lawyers will lie, cheat and break the rules to defend someone they know is guilty.
it is about time judges had mandatory training about domestic violence and the tactics of an abuser in court. there is enough research available to eradicate these kind of very dangerous mistakes.
Sociopaths are EVERY WHERE and yes, they most certainly are in powerful positions, look who is President of the USA!!! You can't get more Narcissistic than him. And if you watch his wife and son, I truly believe he abuses them.
My ex-boyfriend was incredibly charming, he was well respected in his job and not overly friendly with the neighbors. I had a colleague at my last job who I believe is abusive and Administration believed him when I accused him of being abusive. I am not surprised that judges are not neutral. What is so wrong in this world is victims of domestic violence are blamed for what happens to them, we look to the courts and the police and the law for protection and they let us down. They don't believe because who you going to believe the person who is so mentally messed up because of abuse or the calm, cool, collected one dressed in a suit and tie who looks and speaks of normalcy? They don't get we are victimized because of that "normalcy".