Post by davidnorris105 on Aug 10, 2017 18:21:06 GMT
I am 43 and spent ten years suffering in silence. It is almost a year since separating from my ex-wife, who subjected me to constant verbal, psychological, emotional, financial and sometimes physical abuse.
On the night of our separation she called the police when she heard me coming in before launching a brutal and vicious attack (trying to force me to hit her so that I would be locked up or end up homeless). I got arrested, but no further action was taken since there was no evidence against me - thankfully I was security trained and knew the legal position. But after discovering bruising I got this documented at the police station. I later discovered that she had been seeing another man in Paris hence the reason for her visiting Paris on her own at the time I took back my flat. She even accused me of committing adultery just to be spiteful.
I had to force entry to my own home since (she threw away my keys), of which I was the sole tenant at a time when I knew nobody was at home. She went mad and called the police a second time, but I had the permission of the housing association and had not broken the law. But at least I got back my home. I changed the locks and installed CCTV in case of further trouble.
This was not the first physical attack. It had happened a number of times - the first being on the first valentines day after our marriage. I also suffered many other forms of abuse almost every week. Often the children witnessed the abuse - we have two daughters aged seven and nine currently. She tried to prevent me ever seeing them again, but I took her to court. She is now again attempting to prevent me from seeing them once again, and I am considering reporting her for being in breach of a court order.
I can recall episodes of violence and abuse in every single month of the year. For example, 2012 I will always remember for the new year's day she put me in A&E and the incident in November when she assaulted me and threatened to take a knife to me; this resulted in me seeking help and social services got involved. Indeed I used medical notes from these incidents as evidence in court. On another occasion she threatened to pour boiling water on me.
She would only have sex on her own terms and I lost confidence as time went by due to constant belittling by her. She would start screaming abuse on me when getting ready for work so I would have to go to work fighting back the tears, or in the evening so I would sit there alone out of doors with a few strong drinks; I even recall doing this one night when it was -12 degrees Celsius one winter night. Indeed I would keep myself to myself at home in the desperate hope of avoiding her vile filthy temper.
She also refused to pay her fair share of household bills. She also left me with debt in my name after pressuring me to take a loan against my will and I am considering further legal action to recover the money. I am also considering a non-molestation order as she is now abusive towards me whenever the children are with me and keeps 'gatecrashing' my time with them. See this example of her verbal abuse (this happened on this particular occasion because I forgot my phone when taking them for a day out to regents' Park).
2017-05-31_19.17.01-1621842754.3gpp (388.77 KB)
Right now I am recently divorced, and trapped in two minds between being fearful of ever having another relationship and fearful of being alone for the rest of my life. Has anyone had a similar experience to my own?
Regards, David
On the night of our separation she called the police when she heard me coming in before launching a brutal and vicious attack (trying to force me to hit her so that I would be locked up or end up homeless). I got arrested, but no further action was taken since there was no evidence against me - thankfully I was security trained and knew the legal position. But after discovering bruising I got this documented at the police station. I later discovered that she had been seeing another man in Paris hence the reason for her visiting Paris on her own at the time I took back my flat. She even accused me of committing adultery just to be spiteful.
I had to force entry to my own home since (she threw away my keys), of which I was the sole tenant at a time when I knew nobody was at home. She went mad and called the police a second time, but I had the permission of the housing association and had not broken the law. But at least I got back my home. I changed the locks and installed CCTV in case of further trouble.
This was not the first physical attack. It had happened a number of times - the first being on the first valentines day after our marriage. I also suffered many other forms of abuse almost every week. Often the children witnessed the abuse - we have two daughters aged seven and nine currently. She tried to prevent me ever seeing them again, but I took her to court. She is now again attempting to prevent me from seeing them once again, and I am considering reporting her for being in breach of a court order.
I can recall episodes of violence and abuse in every single month of the year. For example, 2012 I will always remember for the new year's day she put me in A&E and the incident in November when she assaulted me and threatened to take a knife to me; this resulted in me seeking help and social services got involved. Indeed I used medical notes from these incidents as evidence in court. On another occasion she threatened to pour boiling water on me.
She would only have sex on her own terms and I lost confidence as time went by due to constant belittling by her. She would start screaming abuse on me when getting ready for work so I would have to go to work fighting back the tears, or in the evening so I would sit there alone out of doors with a few strong drinks; I even recall doing this one night when it was -12 degrees Celsius one winter night. Indeed I would keep myself to myself at home in the desperate hope of avoiding her vile filthy temper.
She also refused to pay her fair share of household bills. She also left me with debt in my name after pressuring me to take a loan against my will and I am considering further legal action to recover the money. I am also considering a non-molestation order as she is now abusive towards me whenever the children are with me and keeps 'gatecrashing' my time with them. See this example of her verbal abuse (this happened on this particular occasion because I forgot my phone when taking them for a day out to regents' Park).
2017-05-31_19.17.01-1621842754.3gpp (388.77 KB)
Right now I am recently divorced, and trapped in two minds between being fearful of ever having another relationship and fearful of being alone for the rest of my life. Has anyone had a similar experience to my own?
Regards, David