Post by karen on Jul 25, 2017 21:13:57 GMT
Hi All, I am struggling right now with my "boss". She is not my direct supervisor, but I have to work with her and she could make me or break me. AND she is ABUSIVE..she is a Narcissist and she proves it everyday.
I have been in my current job for 11 months. In that time I have had 5 "encounters" with her where she basically is abusive, then she apologizes and has to give me a hug. "I was very hard on you and I don't mean to be, so you deserve a hug". REALLY? She cycles around, this has happened about every 6 weeks for the as 6-7 months. It is predictable and what seems to trigger it? I stand up to her and I question her. I don't just go along with her, because clearly from my professional view she is wrong in how she delivers healthcare.
One of these "encounters" happened again today, because this woman is in a position of authority, she is basically allowed to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants, how ever she wants, there are no boundaries and EVERYONE in the room who is "under" her..enables her to be this way. She comes to a meeting and her papers are scattered, she brings all her meds and puts them out on the table and takes them while leading the meeting, today she got a date incorrect that we were setting and I told her it was not right, she was off a day. She told me I was wrong, we went back and forth, "I am not going to argue with you, Karen" and when I started to look up information to prove to her that she was wrong.."Don't look it up, I don't care what the date is", then she heavily sighs and whites out her mistake. I wasn't nasty, i was trying to make sure it was documented right, because if those of us who are dependent on the correct dates..did it wrong? It would be our fault for doing it wrong, not her fault for setting the wrong date. No one else in this room stopped her from being nasty. EVERYONE accepts that she is who she is.
I HAVE A REALLY TOUGH time with this. I want to tell this woman to go screw herself. She has no boundaries, she makes fun of the patients and their situations (everyone was laughing today at individual patient situations..not professional in my book), everyone was chiming in and laughing and then she plays "God" and decides people's fate based on whether she likes them or not. If they follow the rules the way she thinks they should..they stay. If they do something she doesn't like, they are non-compliant and she decides they have to go. This is supposed to be a team effort.
Some people "just love" her, others tolerate her. I don't see any "good" in these types of people. What do you all think? I am not going to be her friend because everyone thinks she is nice. She is not nice..she will be nice to your face, then she will talk about you.
I know I have to find a way to tolerate her. I love my job. I see right through her and I believe she knows that I am not going to stand for her crap.
How can ABUSERS be seen as nice? or good people? When EVERYTHING they do has an ulterior motive? Are there any redeeming qualities?
I don't see it. Can they have any qualities that are genuine? I just don't believe it. I don't see it, and I won't "go along" with it.
I am answering my own question. NO..they do not have any redeeming qualities. EVERYTHING is done for their benefit.
Please tell me what you think. I don't think we can talk ourselves into believing that there is good in people like Narcissists.
I have been in my current job for 11 months. In that time I have had 5 "encounters" with her where she basically is abusive, then she apologizes and has to give me a hug. "I was very hard on you and I don't mean to be, so you deserve a hug". REALLY? She cycles around, this has happened about every 6 weeks for the as 6-7 months. It is predictable and what seems to trigger it? I stand up to her and I question her. I don't just go along with her, because clearly from my professional view she is wrong in how she delivers healthcare.
One of these "encounters" happened again today, because this woman is in a position of authority, she is basically allowed to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants, how ever she wants, there are no boundaries and EVERYONE in the room who is "under" her..enables her to be this way. She comes to a meeting and her papers are scattered, she brings all her meds and puts them out on the table and takes them while leading the meeting, today she got a date incorrect that we were setting and I told her it was not right, she was off a day. She told me I was wrong, we went back and forth, "I am not going to argue with you, Karen" and when I started to look up information to prove to her that she was wrong.."Don't look it up, I don't care what the date is", then she heavily sighs and whites out her mistake. I wasn't nasty, i was trying to make sure it was documented right, because if those of us who are dependent on the correct dates..did it wrong? It would be our fault for doing it wrong, not her fault for setting the wrong date. No one else in this room stopped her from being nasty. EVERYONE accepts that she is who she is.
I HAVE A REALLY TOUGH time with this. I want to tell this woman to go screw herself. She has no boundaries, she makes fun of the patients and their situations (everyone was laughing today at individual patient situations..not professional in my book), everyone was chiming in and laughing and then she plays "God" and decides people's fate based on whether she likes them or not. If they follow the rules the way she thinks they should..they stay. If they do something she doesn't like, they are non-compliant and she decides they have to go. This is supposed to be a team effort.
Some people "just love" her, others tolerate her. I don't see any "good" in these types of people. What do you all think? I am not going to be her friend because everyone thinks she is nice. She is not nice..she will be nice to your face, then she will talk about you.
I know I have to find a way to tolerate her. I love my job. I see right through her and I believe she knows that I am not going to stand for her crap.
How can ABUSERS be seen as nice? or good people? When EVERYTHING they do has an ulterior motive? Are there any redeeming qualities?
I don't see it. Can they have any qualities that are genuine? I just don't believe it. I don't see it, and I won't "go along" with it. I am answering my own question. NO..they do not have any redeeming qualities. EVERYTHING is done for their benefit.
Please tell me what you think. I don't think we can talk ourselves into believing that there is good in people like Narcissists.
