misterm
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Post by misterm on Jun 4, 2017 20:19:19 GMT
just for my own records and to somehow vent my frustration and anger,
i learned last week the court expert, who i spoke with over 1 month ago, has summoned the abuser and the kids. the abuser has 15 days to respond and if she doesnt turn up the expert will go through the courts and speak with the kids anyway.
i spoke with my children on skype for the second time this week! i dont think this has ever happened before and i believe she is 'grooming' them for the expert. they had also just been to the seaside, have new clothes, toys and books. i previously informed my eldest she would speak to someone who would help the judge decide and warned her that the abuser would become 'nice' when she finds out. this seems to be exactly what is happening.
my eldest was acting very out of character, she is normally very sweet and loving towards her sister. today she was being aggressive, shouting and screaming about everything and nothing.
her little sister had done something to one of her books. when she saw it she shouted at her sister. her little sister backed away and looked up at her with fear in her eyes. she said "dont hurt me"
im shocked, disgusted, horrified, worried, appalled, angry, frustrated...
this is another major reason i will never stop trying to rescue my children again. my daughter is learning abusive behavior, learning that emotional and physical violence is acceptable.
i need to, have to, break the cycle of abuse passed down through generations of my abusers family. i will NOT allow 'that' in my family.
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steve
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Post by steve on Jun 4, 2017 20:56:46 GMT
Keep fighting! It is so important that they know you care. On some level, they KNOW they are in an abusive situation and they know who the problem is. Be as loving and as honest as you can be and win or lose, they will always know you love them.
I can't believe your situation - or I CAN believe it, because I've seen similar things before, but it is appalling and disgusting. I hope someone with some sense and enough power to sway the judge will come into the scene.
--- Steve
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misterm
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Post by misterm on Jun 8, 2017 13:54:45 GMT
thanks steve
the latest... my eldest daughter called me in secret, she had found her tablet and hidden it in her room. she had been locked in her room for an entire day in the dark, the door literally locked with a key, the shutters on the window blocked, no light, not even a torch. she also told me her little sister was very ill and couldnt stop coughing, she had not been taken to the doctors and was not being given her inhaler the doctor had prescribed when i took her back in february. the abuser told her its because she is building her immune system, she is 4 years old...
the abuser has 4 days left to see the court expert then the expert will go through the court to speak with the kids. my daughter said her mum had mentioned it and said she will not go. her mum had also told her that if she ends up with me she will keep her sister. my eldest is the 'scapegoat', youngest is the 'golden child'. sounds like the abuser has accepted the fact that my eldest wants to come back with me but is willing to split up the sisters for her own selfish reasons.
this has gone on way too long of course i could go to the police but last time i went when they told me about violence the police threatened me with jail and said if i contact them again they will stop me seeing the kids altogether. i could go to the social services but as far as they are concerned the judge made a decision and the case is closed.
on a positive note, im at the top of the 8 month waiting list and will start counseling next week!
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misterm
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Post by misterm on Jun 20, 2017 20:29:00 GMT
something dodgy seems to be going on behind the scenes. yesterday i find out there has been another court case that went against me that happened almost 1 year ago. that makes 3 court cases that i was not informed of or represented in yet im the one that loses. the court case where i was present and represented goes against me anyway. the judge quoted a law the decision was supposedly based on and does the exact opposite of that law.
im no lawyer but even i know that is not right.
add on top of that the police trying to prosecute me for something that if they care to read their own report they will see they are going after the wrong person.
i have done nothing wrong and the abuser has done everything wrong but i am the one, along with my children, who is punished.
just over a week and there will be another 'expert' report, hopefully it says the same as the other 8 expert reports. i will be so glad when this is over.
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steve
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Post by steve on Jun 21, 2017 3:33:56 GMT
That is very fishy! Why would they have hearings without telling you? Did you get the records of the hearings? See what was claimed. They might have claimed you were informed when you really weren't, which means they are not valid decisions.
Do you have a solicitor to talk with about this?
--- Steve
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misterm
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Post by misterm on Jun 21, 2017 16:42:17 GMT
all i got were the decisions way after they took place.
i had a lawyer at the time but she did not respond to anything or inform me of anything. months later she informs me she has dropped my case suddenly and without warning to become a judge and to find another lawyer. i asked a lot of lawyers and none would take the case for various reasons. then one responded and phoned the court to see what was happening, they find out another lawyer has been named by the one that became a judge without informing me or the named lawyer.
this lawyer has had the case for over 8 months and has done nothing and does not respond or inform me of anything. i cannot change lawyer as this one has been named, which doesnt make any sense but im no expert.
everything seems to be getting more complex and spiraling out of control and nothing i say or do makes any difference. i have written to an organization that investigates corruption, lets see what they come up with. im also in talks with people about alternatives.
protecting children from violence really shouldnt be this hard!
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misterm
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Post by misterm on Aug 12, 2017 11:36:34 GMT
another update court expert still hasnt submitted her report, almost 2 months after the deadline ordered by the court. i recently spoke with someone who runs a charity and has vast experience of this kind of thing, i was told it was unlikely the report will ever be made as it will prove the judge an incompetent fool, and the expert will not want to get on the wrong side of a judge.
the last time i had my kids with me something intolerable happened. we had the usual interference with our time together, various threats etc. the usual stories of ever escalating abuse.
many hours before the court ordered time the abuser decided she wanted the kids back and would not budge an inch on this. she found out we were at a friends house and came round, entered the house uninvited, without even knocking.
my eldest daughter absolutely refused to go. she hid in a corner sobbing her eyes out. it took around 2 hours to get her to go, very much against her will and absolutely devastating to see. the abuser of course didnt bat an eyelid, apart from threatening her and me. its as if she has no feelings, no humanity, a kind of evil robot if you will.
so the next time they are with me it is time to take action. i have taken advice from a LOT of people and organizations and i am preparing to go to court representing myself. its a very scary prospect but i have to do it for the protection and well being of my kids. we need a lot of luck and a sympathetic and experienced judge.
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karen
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Post by karen on Aug 13, 2017 21:55:00 GMT
Hi misterm..you and your daughters are in my prayers. Part of me wishes the next time you have them, that you take them and leave the country. Your ex does not deserve her children. I would have called the police when your daughter was refusing. You have so many witnesses there who saw what happened. Your ex deserved to be arrested and thrown in jail with the key thrown away.
My heart goes out to you. I know this is not what you need..I wish I could do more.
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misterm
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Post by misterm on Aug 27, 2017 22:09:00 GMT
thank you karen it means a lot to know someone is listening
i asked what happened after the incident where my daughter refused to go. she said "mummy hurt me a lot" since this was in the uk i reported the assault to the police, who seem to be taking notice, but ive heard that before so im trying not to get my hopes up. she was also violently assaulted on another recent occasion which resulted in a visible head injury. the police have taken photo's of the injury and i am waiting for them to come and take a statement.
i have asked children's services to help me protect them again. ive been to see them in person and printed out the relevant articles of law for them and also printed out and highlighted their own government issued rules and guidelines. i also gave them copies of several professional reports detailing the abuse and given them video evidence of abuse. i have been asking and sending them proof of all kinds of serious abuse for 17 months now so again im not getting my hopes up.
if i dont get arrested for trying to protect them i will keep you all updated as and when.
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karen
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Post by karen on Aug 27, 2017 23:38:06 GMT
Hi misterm, what will it take for authorities to remove the children from her care? Does she have to hurt them so bad that hospitals will take concern? How much does she have to beat them up for someone to notice? I would take them to the hospital, follow them home and wait, and when she hits them, call the authorities and help your children to be honest with the authorities and tell on their mother. This is so wrong on so many levels.
I hope you don't get arrested. Because your ex will take that and somehow you will be the bad one and she will win. Still got my fingers and toes crossed. Something has to give. And soon.
You are right, it sounds promising. Sadly, they have a very long list of documented situations. It is like, when is that list enough? Soon, misterm, I am so hoping soon!
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Post by sarah on Aug 30, 2017 3:21:25 GMT
Really hope everything goes in your favour misterm..You have been unbelievably brave and strong to have held it together and I admire your determination. Taking the children will only end up with you in trouble so I wouldn't recommend that although it seems the only option at times..Just keep pressing on..keep doing what You're doing and hopefully we will hear the good news.Fingers crossed for you.
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misterm
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Post by misterm on Sept 2, 2017 0:13:50 GMT
the police phoned me a few days ago and said dont worry it will get sorted. my daughter asked social services "will you stop my mum hitting me" they said yes they also told me they would protect them.
tomorrow i am supposed to hand them back. today i have been on the phone to police and social services from 9am to 5.30pm and when it comes to the crunch, they do sweet F all.
everyone is suggesting, but not advising, that i keep them for their safety. talk about a spinning brain...
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karen
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Post by karen on Sept 2, 2017 1:26:05 GMT
Hey Misterm..this sounds like a little bit of progress. I am so glad that your daughter said that to Social Services. I am appalled at the way the "system" has let your children continue to be hurt. If you were in the USA, your ex would be locked up and your children taken away from her until a trial. She would be charged with several counts of child abuse and possibly even endangerment and neglect.
If they suggest that,, I would write down who said it and when and what they said and keep your children. The last thing you want is to be accused of putting them in danger and not protecting them. I would call again tomorrow and try and get a definite answer..especially a what if scenario.."what will happen if you don't take them back?" Can you get a judge's order to keep them? I hope this is step in the right direction. How are you feeling? I imagine your brain is spinning. It is confusing alright! I am hopeful for you and your children's sake!
Fingers crossed Misterm!!!
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misterm
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Post by misterm on Sept 27, 2017 23:17:19 GMT
social services did F all because they were safe with me. i said unless you put a protection plan in place she will get them back. police did F all because they were safe with me. i told them unless you protect them she will get them back. the abuser of course accused me of abduction just like i told them she would. the cafcass officer, after talking with my daughter, pleaded with the judge to end it today and not send them back. she told the judge about the recent assaults and said she even saw the injury on her head. the abuser said that my daughter has a habit of scratching her head and did it herself?, ffs. the judge today used the feeble excuse of jurisdiction and sent the kids back with the abuser, just like i said he would. she took an undertaking to promise not to hit the kids? ? red flag much? in my crystal ball (lol) here is what will happen next. she will go to the french court/police and stop my contact with the kids altogether. the kids will continue to be abused and there is nothing i can do about it. i am now out of options. i followed the advice from everyone that it is possible to get advice from and nothing has worked. there is literally nobody left to ask for help. i really feel like masking the faces on all the videos i have of my children being abused and uploading them to youtube with her name and address i know i shouldnt but the abuse must end one way or another it is real, it is happening, and i can prove it
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karen
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Post by karen on Sept 30, 2017 20:18:39 GMT
Hey misterm..my heart breaks for you. I can't believe the country you are in and the justice system. It is so wrong. I would load up YouTube with the videos. I would even burn them to a CD and mail them to the judge. Mail them to the media as well, alert the TV and Radio stations of the injustice that your children are suffering. Call their school counselors, call the president of your country. At this point, you have nothing to lose. Call the Queen..are they in England? Write to your politicians. Tell everyone your story. Name the judge who sent them back so when your children are almost killed by your ex..you will have someone to blame. There has to be someone out there who will take your case.
I honestly would tell EVERYONE what is going on. It is so wrong on so many levels. Send the videos to your local TV stations and ask them to play it and share who the judge is. Put it on FB. You are not making this crap up. Children are being abuse and no one is doing anything about it.
I am so sorry Misterm. Something has to give.
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misterm
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Post by misterm on Oct 1, 2017 8:56:38 GMT
the judge was David Willams QC he is a new judge and i had previously contacted him when he was a solicitor. on november 16 2016 i asked if he could bring the case to an english court in order to protect the children. he said that yes he could do this under Brissels II Regulation. he read some of the papers and quoted me 1500 + vat, unfortunately i did not have enough money at that time.
in court the other day he said that my daughters objections were way above the threshold and the documented violence is significant. the cafcass officer said that significant psychological harm would also be caused to my daughter if she had to return. she said that my daughter was already suffering from the separation from her main parent (me) and this had gone on for too long. my daughter told her she had spoken to so many people about the abuse but nobody has done anything. cafcass told the judge this needs to end today. the judge suggested opening up the hearing to include a full investigation to which my lawyer agreed. her lawyer objected because the hearing was only about the 'abduction' and quoted obscure legal technical jargon. the judge was forced to agree and said under the terms of the hague convention the french courts had been firmly seized (i asked for an emergency appeal august 4 2016, still waiting for this) so the kids had to go back.
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misterm
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Post by misterm on Oct 17, 2017 2:49:07 GMT
and it goes on... sorry i just need to somehow make a record of all this
so i got a date for the (emergency lol) appeal in december, at last!!!
the last court order had a penal notice attached, meaning breaking the order will mean prison, a fine or both. this is because she broke 7 of the 8 court orders from last time. one of her orders was to withdraw and not to pursue punishment of me for keeping the kids.
one of the documents supplied by social services said they had seen disturbing videos of skype. now she is aware i record them contact has gone from once or twice a month to nothing.
a had a very short phone call from my daughter the other night. she was whispering and said she has took her phone back and is hiding. we talked about Halloween as the kids are supposed to be with me, her mum had told her she can come with me if i give her some dresses. she also told me her mum said i will go to prison. after just over 2 minutes she said mum is coming ill call you back.
she never did call back and never answered her phone, educated guess her mum has taken it from her again.
i sent an email to her mum asking about halloween and what dresses she meant. the reply was you cant see the kids, dont come here before your 'trial' in november.
so i managed to find out about this 'trial' she has not complied with the court order (again) and has instigated and actively pursued prosecution in the criminal court for keeping the kids. not only is this a continuation of her narcissistic abuse of me it is contempt that will have consequences.
so now im faced with this situation. i havnt received any papers about this 'trial' and i dont know what to do about the contempt
when will it end... why wont anyone help me protect the kids how does she keep getting away with it all it just goes on and on and gets worse and worse
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Post by geraldmarshall on Oct 17, 2017 9:31:24 GMT
Have you consulted a lawyer? Professional lawyer services can help you in the worst time of need. They have many different services to provide you with comfort and compensation. You want to make sure you find a lawyer that will provide you with the most care. They must be knowledgeable and intelligent enough to get you what you came to them for. Get more info on the internet to hire a best lawyer.
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misterm
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Post by misterm on Oct 17, 2017 18:29:39 GMT
cant afford another paris lawyer unfortunately. spent everything i had on the last one and it seemed like the judge took an instant disliking to her because she was from paris. yes the french are racist even among themselves, ask anyone from outside paris.
had to get eu legal aid as my life has been completely destroyed at the hands of the abuser so can only get a 'local' lawyer. the abuser just wont quit trying to get me locked up on the basis of her (provable) lies, but try telling that to them.
after a year of ignoring everything i managed to contact my lawyer today. she very much seems like she is batting for the other side and has a distinct air of racism. she has read none of the documents or emails or txt messages or seen any of the vids or heard any of the phone recordings, or read any of the DV research i sent her. didnt believe the english police or SS are involved, didnt believe anything i told her about what the english judge or cafcass said. had to try to convince her im not making this all up! the conversation got quite heated at some points.
i know there are specialist DV lawyers out there who would easily see the patterns and tactics but i simply cant afford one. as this has gone on for almost 2 years, and has an international element, there is a huge stack of paperwork and the few english speaking lawyers there are dont want to touch it.
im pretty much fkd at this point havnt slept for 48 hours, feel shaky, headache, sick, hot flushes, tearful and having heart palpitations. might go to the docs tomorrow if i still feel like this
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