Post by notsurewhattodo on Nov 25, 2016 21:46:34 GMT
My husband of just over 2 years is verbally abusive.
Not all the time and sometimes we have a wonderful relationship.
However, he calls me bitch, cunt, stupid, retarded, idiot on a regular basis and then justifies why I am those things and most of the time he can make a valid argument. However, even if he is correct I don't think the name calling is appropriate.
We have a 17 months old girl and this goes on in front of her.
He also yells when he is angry and calls it raising his voice, I don't want this behavior in my house with our daughter it is making me yell back which I don't normally do but have no other way to express myself.
One little example is when I told him I was going to bring my fruit to work for a second day, well he called me idiot and fucken stupid because "you can't take the same fruit two days in a row because it starts to go bad" and he is trying to keep me safe that is why he is harsh.
I am not a confident driver so I let him drive, so that is point of contention between us and he calls me weak because I don't drive.
He has put me in headlocks a few times saying he is trying to break the tension or make me apologize. It doesn't "hurt", like I know he is not going to break something but when I ask him to stop he says he likes to hurt me or I am being a wet blanket.
On occasion when we are arguing he tells me he would like to throw me out the window or put my head through a wall. Of course he says this is to break the tension or says at least he is not calling me names and this is an improvement.
Anyways in order to keep this short I will end it here although I can go on forever.
My question is am I being selfish if I take my daughter and leave, he has yelled once in her face to shut up shut up shut up or what do you want what do you want what do you want (I can't remember which one) he has said things to her like why are you crying your just a girl and some man will own you some day. He says he is joking about the later one but its not funny to me and she can't understand yet but she will one day.
My other question is is it possible he would get custody if I leave, do I have to prove the abuse, I have a job right now but won't if I move out because I would leave the city, does that affect custody. Does my driving ability affect this also???
I don't want to harm her by staying but I read it can harm the child if you divorce.....I have no idea what to do I am so confused. I love her so much and don't want her growing up to hate me because of it.