No

Alena, I am sorry to hear your friend is suffering from this. It is actually one of the No. 1 conditions related to post traumatic stress, anxiety or depression. I have NO doubt the abuse she suffers causes this disease.

I understand why you would like to talk to her family- it shows you care and love her. The one problem you might encounter and that her family is a root cause for her dating an abuser in the first place- for example if her father or mother are abusive or nurtured en environment where she grew up accepting others have control over her and her needs dont matter- then her family will only reinforce these feelings. I hope this makes sense.

In the end the one and only person able to help her- is she herself. You might be able to talk to a professional though- like for example could you call a local DV shelter or hotline in your area yourself and ask them for advice? These are trained people and they will know more techniques or the right things to say to her than we would here. They could maybe even arrange to be there at a meeting with her doctor while he is NOT with her of course.

A friend of mine is in med school and she said the only thing that made her come out and admit she was being abused was when a doctor pulled her aside and asked her a few times: are you REALLY ok miss? He abuses you, doesnt he?

She broke down and broke free that day with help of the medical team and shelters etc.

Maybe you can even ask your friend to drive with her to a doctor's appointment but then you yourself can contact that doctor beforehand and ask what they can do to help. The medical world is aware these days of abuse and the dynamics of it and in hospitals doctors and nurses are trained to interview women in an isolated room away from their men to avoid that they are too scared to talk.

You never know...it might be that your friend is very close to leaving him if she finds courage to ask for help and sees the road she is on goes downhill very fast.
Or it might be that she is so traumatized she will keep going back to him or not even try to escape.

it is so sad to watch....your hands as a friend are bound by the traumatic bonding you witness. Its like yelling at someone through soundproof glass...you see what is going on, you so badly want to pull them out and drop them into a healthy and safe life, yet all you can do is watch and give advice and hope she reaches out.

Id say listen to your gut. If you feel like it would be good to talk to her sister, do that. You know your friend and her family better than all of us here or anyone from a shelter. You have been an amazing support system for her so far and will continue to be that for her.

Give yourself a LOT of credit. God knows women in these abusive trauma bond situations need support...and a lot of it. Even if they push everyone around them away-
it is not her. It is her trauma pushing - not her soul. Her soul screams for help and wants out too. She might just not hear it...yet.


Hang in there, be strong for her. It is a very loving thing you are doing.