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Post by Rosie on Mar 3, 2014 16:36:31 GMT
I'm returning ( it seems) once again after an abusive episode which I ended up with me staying at my friends .. I know it's dis empowering but I'm exhausted and I know that I can't keep staying at friends/hotels. I am planing to leave..and have setup some meetings with a housing support worker and a referal to a women's Support group. But as nothing happens over night and my daughter lives abroad ( plus he hadn't been really aggressive since I finally plucked up the courage to call the police a couple of times .. which I never did in the passed because I thought it would affect his rights to see her, even in supervised contacts) so at the moment It feels just about bearable but I know faar from ideal .
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Post by Janine 1984 on Mar 3, 2014 16:42:20 GMT
Rosie, welcome here and thanks for sharing your story!
It is very normal for a victim of abuse to return several times before finding the right time to leave. In average 7 attempts.
You already took some practical steps towards leaving when you contacted the housing support and womens support group.
One thing I can tell you is that you do not have to wait. Of course you also dont have to leave today and right now. That is YOUR decision alone and you know this abuser best - and how/when/what makes him usually blow off. Just keep in mind violence often escalates when they find out their victim really is leaving this time.
You do not have to wait until the housing support is ready or anything like that- all you need to do is contact a local DV shelter and they have amazing services and options for abused women. From giving you a free place to stay, support in court, finding your own job, moving to a new town etc. etc.
The system will be ready for you to tap into whenever you are ready.
It is not your fault he is doing it and I bet you heard this 1000 times already- but let me say it also: he will never get better and the abuse will most likely only get worse. Believe that you deserve more and that life can be violence free and safe if you choose so.
Hang in there and be proud that you took steps to reach out. It is not easy and I know how hard it can be to leave- it took me 3 attempts I think.
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