Post by Jewel on Feb 26, 2014 22:59:46 GMT
And it's so great! Just settling in at my parents' house. My dad was furious when he saw the bruises on me. He said my ex is lucky to be on another continent, said he'd send my ex to meet his maker. But I don't think I have to worry about that anymore. My ex left me a bunch more messages and on a few of them, he's begging me to just meet him somewhere so we can talk. So, it's like you said, Janine--no clue that I've come back home. I had the big dinner with my family and friends, and only a couple of them asked about my face, though I'm sure more of them noticed. It was still pretty visible. But I didn't care anymore. I told them the truth.
Shortly after I got home (before the dinner), my mom sat me down and told me she had something to confess...my dad is not my mom's first husband! My mom was 25 when she married my dad. But from age 19 to 23, she was married to another man, who abused her. The last night she was with him, he broke her arm. She never sought help because It was the 70's and still considered to be a private matter, and she was ashamed of it for a long time. When she thought of telling me, she says it just never seemed like the right time. And she's been carrying around a tremendous amount of guilt over that, because maybe if I had known, I wouldn't have ended up in the same situation. When my ex started always answering the phone and I never called back, that's when she just knew in her heart something was very wrong. But she thought it if she kept pushing, it would just driven her and I further apart and my partner and I closer. Which is probably true. I told her she shouldn't feel bad. Who knows, even if I had known, if I would have listened. Instead of accusing my parents of being unable to let go, I probably would have just accused her of being paranoid.
So, wow. Pretty big shock. But I know now that if I ever have children, I will tell them about these past three years. And I am going to be honest with my family and friends when they ask questions. No more brushing it of or half-truths like I did in the States. I know it took a lot for my mom to come out and admit that to me.
Shortly after I got home (before the dinner), my mom sat me down and told me she had something to confess...my dad is not my mom's first husband! My mom was 25 when she married my dad. But from age 19 to 23, she was married to another man, who abused her. The last night she was with him, he broke her arm. She never sought help because It was the 70's and still considered to be a private matter, and she was ashamed of it for a long time. When she thought of telling me, she says it just never seemed like the right time. And she's been carrying around a tremendous amount of guilt over that, because maybe if I had known, I wouldn't have ended up in the same situation. When my ex started always answering the phone and I never called back, that's when she just knew in her heart something was very wrong. But she thought it if she kept pushing, it would just driven her and I further apart and my partner and I closer. Which is probably true. I told her she shouldn't feel bad. Who knows, even if I had known, if I would have listened. Instead of accusing my parents of being unable to let go, I probably would have just accused her of being paranoid.
So, wow. Pretty big shock. But I know now that if I ever have children, I will tell them about these past three years. And I am going to be honest with my family and friends when they ask questions. No more brushing it of or half-truths like I did in the States. I know it took a lot for my mom to come out and admit that to me.