Post by faithnomore on Aug 1, 2014 0:06:20 GMT
I don't know how, I don't know who she would have found out from, but I'm pretty sure she knows. After a month of no phone calls through her friends and my friends, which she'd been doing. My dad said a woman called his house yesterday, and asked if he'd give her my phone number. She said that she and I were supposed to be meeting up in (my town--she named the town) before I go back to school, but she'd misplaced my number. He asked for her name and she said Kim (not my ex's name). He said he'd have me call her back, but when he asked for her number, she hung up.
I'm supposed to be starting classes on campus this fall. I've been doing online courses so I've been able to do it mostly from home. I don't know if she knows where I'm going to school, but she knows I'm going.
I've called her probation officer AGAIN. Maybe this time they'll actually do something about it, because apparently them writing it down hasn't convinced her to stop!
I had a flashback today in the grocery store of all places. I was afraid to be anywhere in public, but it was something I had to have, so I didn't really have a choice. Towards the back of the store, I saw a woman who looked like her (my ex). And then this woman said to the person she was with, "Where are you going?" And that was all it took.
I started to remember an incident where we had been arguing and I was on my way out the door. I thought she was upstairs, but then she popped out of the kitchen. She grabbed my arm and said, "Where do you think you're going?" I said, "I'm out of here". She hit me across the face hard enough that I fell over and I tried to get back up, but she kicked me back down. She took off her belt started beating me with it. She said I wasn't out of there until we finished our discussion. I was eventually able to get up and run and lock myself in a bathroom, but she was outside the door for the next 1/2 hour, telling me to open it, and that it wasn't over.
I had to run out of the store, fast, and I was shaking so bad I had to sit in my car for a good 10 minutes before I could drive. I know I sound like a crazy person, but it really felt like my ex was in that store, chasing me, and I was running for my life. I'm not a big crier, but this afternoon, I just broke down. I wonder if this is why women just give up and go back to their abusers. Mine gave me a 2nd degree burn when she pushed me into the side of a hot cast iron pot and held me there for several seconds. Then refused to let me go to the doctor. I did the best I could to treat it on my own, but I still have a 5-inch long scar on my arm because it didn't heal properly. That moment and the week after, I was in the worst physical pain I've ever experienced in my life. But the mental torture she's putting me through now is worse. I did everything I was supposed to, yet I feel like I'm never really going to be free of her, like she's always going to be in the shadows, making sure I'll never feel at peace again. I can't even consider the prospect of dating again. I met someone a few months ago, and she's amazing and she's been wanting to get together for coffee or a movie and I keep making excuses because I'm afraid of what my ex might do if she found out I was seeing someone. I'm afraid I'd be putting her (my friend) in danger.
That's all, I'm just so frustrated and angry and I just want it all to stop.
I'm supposed to be starting classes on campus this fall. I've been doing online courses so I've been able to do it mostly from home. I don't know if she knows where I'm going to school, but she knows I'm going.
I've called her probation officer AGAIN. Maybe this time they'll actually do something about it, because apparently them writing it down hasn't convinced her to stop!
I had a flashback today in the grocery store of all places. I was afraid to be anywhere in public, but it was something I had to have, so I didn't really have a choice. Towards the back of the store, I saw a woman who looked like her (my ex). And then this woman said to the person she was with, "Where are you going?" And that was all it took.
I started to remember an incident where we had been arguing and I was on my way out the door. I thought she was upstairs, but then she popped out of the kitchen. She grabbed my arm and said, "Where do you think you're going?" I said, "I'm out of here". She hit me across the face hard enough that I fell over and I tried to get back up, but she kicked me back down. She took off her belt started beating me with it. She said I wasn't out of there until we finished our discussion. I was eventually able to get up and run and lock myself in a bathroom, but she was outside the door for the next 1/2 hour, telling me to open it, and that it wasn't over.
I had to run out of the store, fast, and I was shaking so bad I had to sit in my car for a good 10 minutes before I could drive. I know I sound like a crazy person, but it really felt like my ex was in that store, chasing me, and I was running for my life. I'm not a big crier, but this afternoon, I just broke down. I wonder if this is why women just give up and go back to their abusers. Mine gave me a 2nd degree burn when she pushed me into the side of a hot cast iron pot and held me there for several seconds. Then refused to let me go to the doctor. I did the best I could to treat it on my own, but I still have a 5-inch long scar on my arm because it didn't heal properly. That moment and the week after, I was in the worst physical pain I've ever experienced in my life. But the mental torture she's putting me through now is worse. I did everything I was supposed to, yet I feel like I'm never really going to be free of her, like she's always going to be in the shadows, making sure I'll never feel at peace again. I can't even consider the prospect of dating again. I met someone a few months ago, and she's amazing and she's been wanting to get together for coffee or a movie and I keep making excuses because I'm afraid of what my ex might do if she found out I was seeing someone. I'm afraid I'd be putting her (my friend) in danger.
That's all, I'm just so frustrated and angry and I just want it all to stop.
