Post by Ava on Sept 29, 2019 18:51:38 GMT
It's hard to believe it, but it's been 5 years today since I left my ex. Looking back at the broken and scared girl I was back then, if you had told me that in just a few years my life would be what it is today, I wouldn't have believed it. It still amazes me. Life isn't perfect, by any means--who's is?--but it's night and day to where it was then. This forum has been such a huge help over these years; when I felt alone, you all reminded me that I wasn't and that what I was feeling was normal and okay. I am and will always be grateful for that.
Yesterday, we were at my parents' house, and my brother found a box of my old things while he was cleaning out the garage. It was full of stuff from when I was with my ex. Mostly pictures, some concert tickets, and then my cell phone--my secret phone, the one she thought I had gotten rid of. I had taken a video on that phone--well, it was actually just audio because I had hidden it under the couch. My ex had been going at me all day, and when she came in the room and sat down and started tapping her fingers, I knew something bad was about to happen, so I hit record. I had decided that this was going to be the last time, and I was going to leave after this. And I thought I would use the recording against her. Of course, that didn't happen. Fear took over, and I stayed. I have never played the video, not even once and I had actually almost forgot about it. So my brother asked me what I wanted to do with it, and so I took the box, pictures, phone and all into the house and after removing the battery from the phone, I dumped it all into the fireplace. The phone was the last thing to burn and it was especially satisfying to watch. It felt very appropriate for the Eve of the anniversary of my freedom.
It also happens to be my 1-year wedding anniversary today and we are off to celebrate. I just wanted to stop in and say thank you to everyone who has been here for me. I don't know if I'd be where I am today without your help. I love you all.
Yesterday, we were at my parents' house, and my brother found a box of my old things while he was cleaning out the garage. It was full of stuff from when I was with my ex. Mostly pictures, some concert tickets, and then my cell phone--my secret phone, the one she thought I had gotten rid of. I had taken a video on that phone--well, it was actually just audio because I had hidden it under the couch. My ex had been going at me all day, and when she came in the room and sat down and started tapping her fingers, I knew something bad was about to happen, so I hit record. I had decided that this was going to be the last time, and I was going to leave after this. And I thought I would use the recording against her. Of course, that didn't happen. Fear took over, and I stayed. I have never played the video, not even once and I had actually almost forgot about it. So my brother asked me what I wanted to do with it, and so I took the box, pictures, phone and all into the house and after removing the battery from the phone, I dumped it all into the fireplace. The phone was the last thing to burn and it was especially satisfying to watch. It felt very appropriate for the Eve of the anniversary of my freedom.
It also happens to be my 1-year wedding anniversary today and we are off to celebrate. I just wanted to stop in and say thank you to everyone who has been here for me. I don't know if I'd be where I am today without your help. I love you all.