Without a backstory, what do you take from this?

Hi Troubled, welcome here. I hope I can shed some light on what you have shared. I understand your wanting to have an "unbiased" opinion.

The very fact that you are questioning your "sanity" as you say,says to me.. your gut is telling you something isn't right here. Something in this relationship you possibly have been in for a while has a lot of issues. You are also questioning if you are to blame..did you cause this? Did you cause your spouse to get so worked up that maybe it was justified?

My answer without even knowing anything else is "NO". You didn't cause this. Storming out of the house, slamming a door..yes all displays of anger or hurt, but how he or she responds could have been very different. Your spouse chose to be sarcastic, they chose to accuse you of being horrible in front of another person or child perhaps,

My gut tells me this person is abusing you and probably has before this. I could pick it apart every sentence..and I believe the result will be the same.

1. I'm upset with you. In a normal relationship..not a horrible thing. We do get upset with each other. This starts off like an adult will talk..but then it goes south. Which is confusing..because he/she owns that they are upset and lets you know, but then it turns.

2. Ian also embarrassed..ok..still not horrible, again, acting like an adult a little..but the next statements all become what you did, and accuse you of not caring. Then they are humiliated. He/she is now blaming you for how they feel. What you did is causing them to feel a certain way..it is your fault is what they are saying. Focus here is on them..what you did is causing them to feel a certain way and the only thing here that matters is what they are feeling..not what you are feeling. Obviously, you were upset or angry or hurt and stormed out for a reason. This text isn't about how you feel..only how they feel..(Narcissism)

3. I am beyond sick and tired of you dragging on and on and on our arguments into days on in...This is still all about them. Everything you did is causing them to feel more anger and it doesn't matter what you are feeling..it is only about them. It doesn't matter about your side to the argument..they are tired. This is not good..because it says nothing of how you are feeling. They are annoyed that you continue to have feelings about something..doesn't matter that you are not satisfied..it only matters that they are annoyed and you are the reason for it. This too is Narcissistic behavior..how dare you drag something out..it should end when they say, not you.

4. "I am not saying I want a divorce, but I am checking out"..."That means I give up, I will not try"..well to me it sounds like they are doing everything they can to "try"..to make you do what they want. This is a very confusing statement..like somehow you should care that they are considering a divorce, but not really. They are trying to manipulate you into doing what they want. Something not right here.

5. "You obviously don't want me talking, looking or breathing in your direction, I guess I will just be your roommate for the time being who is mute, because God forbid I try and make small talk or apologize..I won't be asking you to join us because you would rather live in silence, or invite you anywhere"..these statements go from blaming you initially, and now your spouse doesn't even want to try and make up because you are the problem..not him or her. Why should they try(because I am sure that is them wanting to make a great gesture and fix things, but again you are the problem, you won't let them be a good person who is making an attempt to include you or to fix things..These are confusing statements to me. Again..this is all your fault is the sense I get.

6. "I would like to help with ....or whenever you feel up to it..we can work on those in silence as well"..now they are trying to help? This is confusing..this still says you are the problem..but they want to be nice but don't worry because they won't speak or show any affection. Lots of sarcasm here and in the last few sentences.

This person is all over the place with what they are trying to do. I am confused just reading it. First it is your fault for them being embarrassed, humiliated, and upset. So they blame you for how they feel; This person is not someone I believe even knows what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like. They don't want to talk about what is going on..how you feel or whatever happened between you. They are very scattered..jumping from one thing to the next. All with the goal of getting what they want, which is you to feel guilty and take the blame for whatever happened.

Something here isn't right. I am not good at analyzing what he/she is saying, all i can say is this is wrong. Your spouse has twisted everything to make it look like it is your fault..afterall they are making you think they are willing  to try and make up.. like they are this wonderful person who wants to solve problems like an adult, yet you are preventing that because they are such a good partner and you are not. I hear nothing here about caring what you think and feel.  This is all one sided and they are the good spouse and you are the problem. It is very confusing. And they mean it to be that way.

I would  suggest that if you are confused and not sure what is going on here that you call a National Domestic Violence Hotline and read this text to them. They have counselors who are available 24/7. They will  listen and help you to understand what this person is trying to do to you. You can remain anonymous.

Also, a really good book called "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft is a really good resource for helping to understand what is going on here. It may interpret these texts better than I can. 

I suspect  your spouse is abusive. I suspect they will try and make up with you, then be really nice and then something will happen and give them a reason to be nasty and abuse you again. There is a lot going on in this text and it is all about them. No where in this whole text is someone who is thinking about how THEY contributed to this whole disagreement, no attempt to talk about it like an adult, and you are the problem not them. A normal adult would be concerned about how you are feeling. There is no concern here that is honest and legitimate for you. NONE. 

Them being mute..you won't get that lucky.

Hope to hear your response, because I am curious what you are thinking and feeling.