Hello people..I learnt today after 9 months of being free from my abusive ex that he wants to talk to me..He has gotten himself into financial trouble and he has also broken up with the quick rebound relationship that he had.Now..I KNEW this was going to happen..I learnt it..researched it..predicted it..waited for it..This is what they do when a supply is cut off..they try and go back to the one that they were using because I once gave an awful lot of chances.Well..I made sure today that the message I'm sending out is NOT A CHANCE!I went through mental emotional hell with this poor excuse of a man...had to educate myself on abuse and attend support sessions to understand and then try get "me" back again..and that took me a good 8 months.I know what he wants to do...he'll be all sweetness and nice..charming..manipulating..I wouldn't even smile at him because he would think that's a good sign and the headwork would start all over again...not that I'd fall for it again but I would never ever give him the satisfaction and time to even try. So I guess I just want to say to anyone that might find themselves wondering what to do should an ex try get back in contact..DON'T DO IT!STAY STRONG!STAY NO CONTACT!Move forwards not backwards.It's hard enough healing..don't let them undo your strength again.
Beautifully said!!! I congratulate your strength and wisdom!! You did your homework, applied what you learned, and it paid off. You go girl!!! It's never easy to stick to our guns when it comes to our abuser's manipulations, but you did it with flying colors! Yaaay you!
Thank you both. Hey Polarone,it took me 11 attempts to leave my ex so don't beat yourself up over going back.My ex was so controlling and manipulative and really played on my emotions every single time that I too kept falling for it until on the last attempt I had really had enough and knew that things were never gonna change.It was hard..and I've read your posts on another thread and can relate.Just educate yourself and start to heal and stay no contact.It really does get easier in time and you too will get stronger.
Hi Sarah! KUDOS to you for standing firm!!! I am sure this was challenging at times to stick to your guns! They play on our heartstrings and it can be excruciating at times.
NO CONTACT is the very best thing. AND I know how tempting it is to send a message back. The problem is the ABUSER sees any response as a "good response". They don't care if you are mad or mean, the ONLY concern they have is about THEM. They want a response from you..good or bad, any response gives them the attention they want.
Well said Sarah! You really understand what goes on in their minds! Sending positive vibes to you!!
Hi Karen..And thank you.. And I agree about the response..What that twat doesn't realise is that I am a lot stronger and wiser now and no matter what he says or does he won't be able to break my resolve no matter what.Yes,I didn't have to respond but I wanted to let him know that I am very much in control of my thoughts and possible actions should he even attempt to come near me or my flat. And he has kept away from my flat as he KNOWS the Police will be involved..and for someone who always said he wasn't bothered about the Police/going to jail,this I find is a weak spot.