I thought I had it all figured out

Of course I saw him again. I just had to go through enough abuse before I said to myself, yes this is abuse... What is wrong with me? Of course I had to sit and wait while he talked to his other girlfriend online. I waited and waited, and waited. I was shaken by the time I had my turn. He was angry because I was not smiling and ok with it. Again he told me this is just the way it is. Said she is his best friend, and he has to talk to her every day. Through out the day he would get snarly with me. Not every minute of the day, but seemed anytime he thought about it, he snarled at me again. I found myself tip-toe-ing around trying not to set-him-off. It didn't matter. I made him angry again and he screamed at me like a banshee. I didn't answer his question, and he flew into a rage. No one ignores him! His ex-wife used to ignore him and no one will ever ignore him again! I was stunned. I stared at him with big scared eyes. He screamed what are you, an owl? He continued to scream at me. Later he screamed at me two more times about the same thing. I told him quietly that we are not compatible. He busted out crying, sobbing, saying I love you. I said No, you don't. I finally calmed the situation down. Got home, and I never have to see him again. That was labor day weekend. He tried to pick an email fight with me. I did respond the first time, I said I cannot handle a temper. All that did was fuel the fire. His second email was really nasty, telling me how everything is my fault, and telling me everything he doesn't like about me. I remembered the Golden Rule of no contact. No contact means zero contact. I did not respond. And I haven't heard from him since.

Hi Jeannie..it sounds to me like you are so smart and so in tune with what this guy is doing. Kudos to you for ignoring his e-mail. He is clearly abusive and clearly trying to control and manipulate you. You ignoring him..such a great move on your part. You deserve so much better than this guy. One thing I always would tell myself is the back and forth texting or e-mail or contacts..are like a tennis match. Him sending you an e-mail is like him hitting the ball into your court. You have two options..take the power away from him and not hit it back. You are then in control. You have decided not to make a move towards him and that again takes the power away from him. You hit it back or respond to his contact..and he now has the power or the upper hand. By not responding..you are in control. Keep that power "on your side of the court". I believe he will try very hard to get it back, by getting you to respond in some way. Try not to give him what he wants..attention. Focus on you and healing you.

It is ok to be suspicious of like a truck on your street. There may be many instances in the future that "trigger" that kind of reaction in you. It is something we become conditioned to do..to be suspicious and on our guard. Being with an abuser..feeds this trigger. It takes time for it to calm and eventually go away.

You sound great Jeannie..focus on taking care of you at this point. You matter! He does not.

He has not contacted me since. It makes it much easier !!!

I strongly believe in karma..I though I would've got mine when I tried taking my ex to court for controlling and coercive behaviour but that fell flat and he got away with his bullying ways again..So,have just been trying to pick myself up and get on with my life..Anyhows,for a few months after our break up he was interfering in all of the relationships I had made or had by poisoning their minds against me(all this came from a guy that always said he'd never cause trouble for me!)and he succeeded!The "sheep"(his friends really not mine)verbally abused me too..tried getting phsycal or just plain ignored me..and that pissed me right off..Now I know two wrongs don't make a right but I had had enough..Him being placed constantly on bail only satisfied me a bit because I knew his life was getting controlled for a while..and he would've been pissed at that but I really wanted to teach him lesson..so I reported him for claiming benefits and working.Turns out he's now under investigation..has had to stop working(shouldn't be doing it anyway)and he's now very paranoid about the consequences..I hit him where it will hurt him the most..If found guilty he will have to pay back every penny(be thousands now)and fraud will go on his record which will hamper any future work he tries to get.In other words I have f***ed him up.Abd I don't regret it.He thought he could damage me mentally..use and abuse me and just riddle off into the sunset with his new gf playing happy families.So,What I'm saying is..they get their comeuppance one way or another..might take weeks..months..years..but what goes around does come around and bites them on the ad's.

Hi Sarah, if it were the other way around, he would report you. I say good job! It will get him chasing his tail, and then he is too busy to think about you.

Hey Jeannie..sadly you are right. They are slick. BUT they will slip up and they will lose, it is just a matter of when. We just have to be patient and sit back and let "the universe unfold as it should". And believe me..it always does. My ex-husband lives a miserable life. He has no money, he has no car, he is an old man, he lives with a sister who can't stand him and another sister who also right now "completely understands why I left" (finally she sees it as he unleashed his vicious words on her).

KARMA..it happens. All in due time. Yes, I would love to see it. BUT I believe in eternal life (heaven or hell) and if it doesn't happen here on earth, they will face their Maker and then I pray he squirms. That will be justice for me.

I love karma!!

About me, yesterday I loaded up the car to take clutter to donate to the Thrift Store. I put the vase from the flowers from Keith, and the teddy bear, and I dropped it off. I called it my purge.

An update on that....Hi Ladies..
WELL,Karma is definitely doing her thing because today I found out that he got pulled in again for benefit fraud..and he's looking at having to pay back over £10,000!AND he's apparently been reported 3 times!Ha ha...so I'm not the only one that has wanted to see him suffer..
His relationship is also over(I knew that was just a matter of time too!)..But get this..he also wants to speak to me!Told my friends this and said he has wanted to call at my flat but hasn't because he knows I'd get the Police out..Damn right I would!He's not sniffing around me again ever.The cheek!