Post by penelope on Dec 11, 2016 15:28:24 GMT
Hi there everybody,
First of all, I hope you are doing well today.
I am writing about my sister. When she was a teenager, she had a lot of problems with anger management. In fact, pretty much everyone in our family did. Our dad was very violent with objects around us, and almost 100% emotionally indifferent to his kids, and my older brother was quite sadistically violent with me, but not my younger sister, although she would've seen in it. As a teenager my younger sister became full of rage, and was very verbally abusive with a boyfriend, from what I remember. They broke up one Christmas after she threw his gift back at him. She has a police caution already for punching a man in the face, she has punched another one, and was thrown out of her flat once after fighting so much with her housemate that they destroyed the apartment. My mother was on the phone to her at the time (or at least the phone was on and she heard most of it) and my sister screamed at one point that she would stab her housemate in his sleep.
A couple of years later, my sister got into a relationship with a really violent Albanian guy who beat her enormously and cheated on her with prostitutes. That relationship went on for at least a year, then, after a few years, she got into another relationship with a Pakistani man who did the same. This went on for a couple of years, and then after a few months of being single, she got into a relationship with an Italian, who also beat her. She is heavily addicted to Cannabis and has been since she was a teenager, and somehow, I don-t really know how, managed to spend the £50,000 inheritance she received after our mum died, I don-t know if she spent it on drugs or the boyfriend stole it or what, but she now works 60 hours a week almost constantly, but is always broke, doesn't even eat sometimes because she's spent the money on something else (cannabis).
Me and my brother and sister have always tried to help her. She lived with my brother rent free after leaving one of the boyfriends, for 6 months, but said she was miserable and missed her ex boyfriend, eventually moving back to the city where he lived (apparently he wanted nothing to do with her after the inheritance ran out). She went to stay with my sister once after breaking up with the violent Italian boyfriend, but after a month she had fought with my sister and her fiancée, and left to go back to the Italian. She is almost constantly in debt to my dad and my sister, who keep lending her money and buying her food.
I just don't know what to do to help her.
I personally, although she hates me for it, have refused on various occasions to lend her money because I just feel like it's enabling her. I've thought about offering her money for a psychological evaluation, have sent her supplements to help with depression and stress and nutrition etc. and I try to listen to her whenever she has problems, talk to her, try to guide her, love her, support her, be some kind of positive influence guiding her about appropriate ways of behaving etc. but after a month or so of getting along fine, she inevitably takes offence to something I say/suggest and then refuses to talk to me for months. Its SO hard listening to her for years and years describing all this, I-m literally at the point where I'm expecting a phone call one day saying she's been killed, she's getting mixed up with drug dealers and people and prison and keeps intervening between random people fighting in the street, last week she almost broke into somebody's house because she thought a couple were engaged in domestic violence and she wanted to stop them. I just don't know what to think or how to help her.
I would be really grateful if anybody could share some advice, wisdom. Thank you so much.